I, Tom
I work with man who has been mistakenly calling me Tom for nine years. We met in 1995 at a business meeting in which our very different skills converged briefly on a project that never got off the ground. We were introduced and went our separate ways after an hour or so and have not worked together since.
Still, we work in the same building and run into each other once in a while. And he calls me Tom. I corrected him the first time this happened. He is one of these guys that tries really hard to greet a person by his first name. Loudly. Without hesitation. There is never a hint of doubt in his voice. I find his approach ballsy, especially since I can't remember anybody's first name and spend much of my time trying to greet people without them knowing how clueless I am: "Hey, how ya been...long time no see!"
When I corrected my colleague, he took the news of his faux pas badly - doubly bad when he realized that, in fact, we have the same first name. His face grimaced and he apologized profusely. It was treacly and discomforting, so I never tried to correct him again and have become Tom for the purpose of our ephemeral encounters.
Last week, the other Jack got on an elevator with me. I hadn't seen him in a long time, maybe a year. He gave me a big smile. We had one of those short, "held captive in an elevator" conversations. It went something like this:
"So, Tom, how are things with you?"
"Haven't you heard? I've changed my name. I'm El Yunque now. It's a spiritual thing. I'm attempting to get in touch with my past life as a Caribbean rainforest warrior."
"El Yunque?"
"Right." I made a fist with my right hand and pumped it against my heart.
"Well, then, how are things with you, El Yunque?"
"Muy bien, gracias."
Okay, so our conversation didn't go anything like that. In reality I wimped out again. I told the other Jack that I, Tom, was doing just fine and thanked him for asking. The elevator doors opened and I got off. That was the sum and total of it. Still, I can't help thinking that the lie that I imagined telling as El Yunque was a hell of a lot more fun than the lie I am living as Tom.
7:18:50 PM  Stories
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