Zeus goes to Best Buy
“My word, how mortals take the gods to task!”
– Homer, The Odyssey
~~~~~
Welcome to Best Buy. How can I help you?
I need to return this Josh Groban CD. It's defective.
Okay. Let me just take a look at that.
Nice voice, that Groban boy. Don't you think?
I couldn't say. I'm more of a metal fan.
You should give him a listen. Hera and I find his music very soothing up on Mt. Olympus.
Well, the CD is definitely scratched. If you'll just show me your receipt, I can give you a new copy.
Receipt? I don't have the receipt.
I'm sorry. Store policy. No exchanges or returns without a receipt.
Surely, you can make an exception here. I'm Zeus, after all.
I don't care if you're God. I can't make an exchange without a receipt.
But I am God. I'm Zeus - supreme ruler of mortals and immortals alike. Don't they teach about me in school any more?
I don't know about that. I'm a business major. Look, there are other people waiting in line.
Young man. I bought this CD here - in this store - just hours ago and it is defective. Does not the word of a God carry any meaning? Have the evil ways of mankind corrupted his sense of reason?
Again, I'm very sorry baaaaah there's nothing I can do. Did you just turn me into a goat?
Yes. Well, half of you. The lower half. And I gave you horns. Pointy ears as well. You're a satyr now.
Fuck no. Dude. I've got a date tonight.
Hey, what can I say? You made me mad.
Man, how am I going to explain this to my girlfriend?
Look on the bright side. You're hung like a oversized goat. A definite improvement on your previous equipment, no? Plus your lady's going to love those hairy haunches.
You think so?
Oh yeah. Chicks dig Satyrs.
Really? Well, thanks. I guess.
Ahh, about the CD?
Right. Just help yourself to a new one. CDs are in the baaaaack of the store.
5:34:07 PM  Stories
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