Cricket II
My friend Steve from Glasgow, Scotland and I have an on-going dispute about what's the best sport in the world. He says it's cricket; I say it's the Miss Universe swimsuit competition. Well, okay, I'm not much of a sports fan. But I like to look at beautiful women in bathing suits and if the Miss Universe contest happens to be on television while I'm surfing the channels, I'll stop and watch for a few minutes, which is more than I can say about cricket.
Steve and I got into a lively discussion about cricket while at a conference together in New Zealand (you can read about it here). Steve tried to educate me on the zen of the game. I wasn't having any part of it. After that he started educating me on the beer, boobs and being off work attributes of the game. He definitely had my attention then. Apparently, a cricket match typically goes on all day long and provides a good excuse to skip work, sit out in the sun (presumably he's not talking about Scotland), drink beer and watch the girlies get a tan. All right, so cricket had its strong points. But I still couldn't make any sense out of this game with its crazy terms like googly, sticky wicket, maiden over and night watchman.
Just today, Steve wrote me saying he had a diagram that would answer all remaining questions I had about the sport of cricket. The diagram appears below.
Now I get it. Cricket is really a treasure hunt with the treasure chest buried beneath "deep backward square leg" or "fly slip." No, really, all of the Xs on the diagram represent different positions for the fielders in a game of cricket. This configuration is for a right-handed batter. You have to reverse the positions for a left-handed batter. Got it? Well, I thought I did, until Steve went on to explain that the field is really a continuum (you can tell Steve is a scientist). The positions are really just approximations. The team's coach can tell any player to stand anywhere he bloody well pleases. ("Do you in fact have any cheese at all in this cheese shop?")
Look closely at the diagram above. Just to the left of the center is an X labeled "Silly Point." Silly Point? Come on! You can't be serious (No, Jack, that would be against the rules while standing on the silly point). Well, at least now I can guess where this guy lines up:
My apologies for reposting this photograph. I'm simply trying to understand the game. But I don't seem to be getting anywhere. Perhaps Steve is right. At one point he told me I would just have to come over for a visit and he would take me to a cricket match. Okay, it's a deal, Steve. I'm ready.
8:49:11 PM  Random Nonsense
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