One-lane bridge
Suburbia has its drawbacks. Too many to list here. The worst part in my estimation is the driving. Suburban drivers rarely exhibit courtesy on the road. People out here drive with one thought in mind: I’m late and I need to make up some time, so get out of my way. Anything we can do to get from point A to point B a little quicker is fair game.
Surely you don’t mind if I cut in front of you. My kid’s got soccer and I’ve got an appointment at the spa. Besides, my SUV is bigger than your little sedan, so I can make this happen even if you do mind. Haha! I’m just kidding. Sort of.
On the drive to my son’s summer camp I travel for a few miles on a verdant, two-lane road where it is possible to forget for the moment that I live in a densely-packed county with over a million people. Certainly, the developers have their eyes on this road. Before long the open space will be gone to make room for a few thousand luxury town homes starting from the low-800s (an oxymoron if I ever heard one). But for now, it is a pleasant drive.
At the bottom of a swale along the way there is a one-lane bridge which brings traffic to a sudden, grinding halt.
One-lane bridges demand civility. Somebody’s got to give way. It’s a dance of courtesy. You go, then I go, then the next person goes and do-si-do. Only it doesn’t work that way in suburbia, not at rush hour.
I’ve noticed that most people still adhere to the one car at a time rule. But an increasing number of bold individuals embrace the we go then you go approach. A second car will follow closely on the rear bumper of the car in front of it and they will cross the bridge together. Then it’s your turn to cross from the other direction. Maybe a car will follow on your bumper. An even bolder group will shoot three cars through from one side. This will really rile up the side that is waiting and they will often respond with equal numbers.
It’s a war zone out there. Case in point: this morning. I noticed a group of cars on the opposite side of the road from me on the crest of the hill above the bridge. These are the southbounders. A couple of the drivers were standing outside their cars; they appeared to be strategizing. One guy had some field glasses and was pointing in our direction. It was clear to me what they had in mind. A few cars ahead of me in line was an old man. He was retired. He was just out running some morning errands. He was obviously not in a hurry. A weak link in our chain. We are the northbounders. The southbounders would try to confuse him. I figured they were going to send their lead car across the bridge, have it swerve over into our lane and crease the bumper of the old man’s car. Nothing serious. Just enough so the drivers would have to get out and see if everyone was okay. Meanwhile, twenty or thirty cars would slip across the bridge from their direction.
Fortunately, our team leader had anticipated the southbounders’ strategy. He waved back to a Hummer on our side that was a good ten cars back in line and motioned for him to drive forward. The Hummer veered into an open field to my right and bounced back onto the road in the front of the line. It was an awesome beast, reinforced for battle with its heavy-gauge steel, front grille guard – a true cattle catcher. Our team leader barked some orders to the Hummer driver who nodded and charged forward, peeling out and raising a cloud of dust and gravel. The lead driver of the southbounders had already crossed the bridge and was on our side. The Hummer met the other vehicle, a Ford Expedition SUV (no slouch!) and shoved him into the stream. We were in a “take no prisoners” mood. Then the driver of the Hummer repositioned and dealt a similar blow to the second car in line – just in case this driver tried to swing around and complete the southbounders’ mission.
The Hummer did its job courageously. We were jubilant and let out a huge group hurrah! We honked our horns and gave the Hummer guy the victory sign as we crossed the bridge forty cars strong.
We were the winners. At least on this day. Tomorrow there will be another battle for control of the one-lane bridge. And it will be worse than today’s. The gauntlet has been thrown down.
6:09:13 PM  Stories
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