Matt's mid-life crisis?
Sometimes friends can really surprise you. Matt has decided that he is going to take a stab at demolition derby. You can read his formal announcement here. For those unaware, demolition derby is a sport, well, sort of, where you drive around a field in an old tank of a car with the expressed purpose of crashing into and snuffing out as many of the other cars as possible. If your car is the last car running then you are the winner.
I simply can’t imagine Matt doing this. Matt and I know each other a good long time, but there has been nothing in our interaction as friends to prepare me for this bomb shell. He told me about his plans over a drink at an Irish pub where we often meet. He might as well have said, “Jack, I’ve been saving up my belly-button lint from my whole life and I’ve knitted a cape that enables me to fly when I wear it.” Instead he told me he was going to run a demolition derby. The effect was the same. I choked out my beer.
Competing in a demolition derby would most certainly make the “You know you are a redneck if…” list. But Matt is as far from a redneck as you can get. I am at a loss to explain his decision. Perhaps he will write more about it on his blog. But having said all this, I am behind him 100%.
In fact, my support for Matt must go deeper than words. I have decided that Peeling Wallpaper will be a corporate sponsor for Team Matt. I am still thinking about ways that I can contribute to his cause. Perhaps, I can buy his gasoline. Or, maybe, I can help pay his chiropractor bills after the race. In any case, Peeling Wallpaper will be there come race day.
Another of Matt’s friends has donated a big blue Cadillac Fleetwood for the race. There is plenty of room on a car this big, Matt told me, for the Peeling Wallpaper logo. Okay, so now we have our first problem: There is no Peeling Wallpaper logo. But Matt is a good cartoonist. I am sure he can come up with an excellent design and spray paint it on that Fleetwood real nice and tasteful-like.
I’m thinking also that there should be a raffle to raise some money for the cause. It will work like this. The person with the closest guess as to how many minutes Matt will last in the competition before his car is wrecked or the judges disqualify him having discovered that he’s not a redneck (“By god, Bubba, he’s written poetry!”) is the winner. Free groceries for life! It’s that simple. 50% of the proceeds will go to Team Matt; the other 50% will pay for the beer I’m planning on drinking as I sit in the stands and watch him compete.
More as this story develops…
10:59:56 PM  Random Nonsense
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