Bringing home the gold
The Olympics.
Since we were little boys
We’ve watched them together
On your Dad’s cranky, old TV
With the wavy lines and
The high-pitched hum.
You had to smack it
To quiet it down…Remember?
But now – this.
Who’d have imagined this?
All eyes are on you.
Family and friends.
Gathered here because of you.
Your shining moment.
Holy shit.
You don’t dare even look
At anyone.
You might just lose it –
Emotions are the enemy.
All your hard work
Comes down to this one event.
Ready?
You stand perfectly still
Poised for the start.
Set –
The crowd is hushed
But restraint is fleeting.
Someone yells,
“For crying out loud – just do it.”
Go!
And just like that you’re in motion.
Swiftly, effortlessly, you seize
A slim remote control device
From the coffee table.
Your finger finds the on/off button.
A 64” plasma HDTV comes to life,
The blue screen glowing blankly.
Rapid-fire clicks set the input,
Color temp, screen dimension.
The crowd watches nervously.
With authority, you exchange remotes
And power up the satellite receiver.
What’s this? Green Acres? Nick At Night?
People laugh at the unexpected setback.
Your right thumb finds the channel guide
And presses down hard.
Your left index finger scrolls the listing.
There it is: Olympics. NBC-HD.
You select the channel, clear the guide.
Coverage has just begun.
The athletes are filing into the stadium.
Bulgaria’s women powerlifting team.
The high definition picture is magnificent.
You can see the stubble on
Their freshly shaven faces.
Your guests emit aahs of delight.
It seems you might just pull this off.
But wait, there’s no sound.
People chant, “Turn it up!”
You drop the satellite remote.
Where’s the A/V remote?
It was here for the trial run.
This can’t be. Panic ensues.
Then you spy it on the floor
Beneath Chico your Bull terrier.
You dive for it. Chico growls
And runs off yelping.
You hit the power. Nothing.
Batteries are low. You smack it.
The A/V receiver lights up and
Abruptly, the room fills with
The Bulgarian National Anthem
In glorious Dolby Digital 5.1
Surround sound:
da da DA DA DA da dum
There is applause from the guests
Calls for you to take a bow
Which you do and then –
The victory lap
Around the room and to the bar
Where you pour yourself
A well-deserved brewski and
Bask in the glory of your
Gold medal performance.
8:40:38 PM  Poems
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