May I have my sponge bath now?
Christina Aguilera as naughty nurse and patient
“The image of Christina Aguilera (who is, to say the least, closely associated with public sexuality) holding a gleaming silver syringe/vibrator, wearing a sultry look, a nurse's cap with red cross, a white "nurse's" mini-dress that fails to conceal much of her breasts, her red heart-patterned white bra, her near-fully visible garter belt which runs down to her white stockings and white dominatrix boots...well, it's not exactly what we had in mind to attract bright young students, or those seeking a second career, to nursing.” –Center for Nursing Advocacy press release
–How do you know it’s a vibrator as well as a syringe?
–It’s my job to know these things. I was hired by the Center for Nursing Advocacy as a naughty nurse specialist.
–Wow. Cool job.
–It’s serious work. But to get back to your question, what you see here is a pretty standard issue syringe/vibrator. You can buy one at any of the naughty nurse web sites. It comes standard with three removable attachments and requires two AA batteries.
–So what’s the problem with naughty nurses anyway? They’ve always been one of my favorite fantasies. I mean can’t we have naughty nurses and regular nurses?
–It’s hard enough recruiting good, qualified people into the field of nursing without this negative image of a young voluptuous woman slipping out of her revealing white nurse’s dress to the feigned surprise of the expectant patient, both of them lathering up in scented body oils, frolicking around in bed and writhing in ecstasy as they bring each other to a simultaneous climax.
–Whoa. You really do know your naughty nurses.
–I’m a trained professional.
–The Christina Aguilera picture. You go into a lot of detail there, right down to her “red heart-patterned bra.” Wouldn’t it be enough to say that the provocative dress and sexual innuendo are offensive to nurses?
–Look. There are dozens of varieties of naughty nurse encounters. Women nurses on men patients. Women on Women. Doctor on nurse. Sponge bathes. Blood pressure checks. CPR resuscitation. You name it. I find it helps to be as detailed as possible in disseminating information to the public.
–Well, it seems to be working. I understand that Sketchers has agreed to pull the Christina Aguilera naughty nurse ad based on the letter-writing campaign you initiated. Nice work.
–Thank you.
–Tell me, have you or anybody you know ever actually had a naughty nurse encounter at the hospital or doctor’s office?
–No.
–Basically, this is a lot of hullabaloo about a harmless little sexual fantasy, isn’t it?
–Absolutely not. This is about image. We are trying to preserve the positive image of our nurses as skilled health care workers, not sex babes on the prowl.
–What’s next for you?
–Oh, there are plenty more naughty nurse ads to bust. My caseload is full.
–If you are finished with that Christina Aguilera photo, may I have it?
–Sorry. I need to keep it with my files. Company policy.
–Hmm. Too bad. She looks great in that nurse’s get-up.
–Not bad. Christina certainly makes the naughty nurse top twenty list.
–There’s a list?
–Okay, I think we’re done here.
8:17:47 PM  Stories
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