The power of 4
Yesterday I found a shaving razor in my mailbox. It was sent to me as a free promotion. It has four blades. It is a “Schick Quattro.” I remember when Gillette introduced two-blade razors back in the 70s. This was a revolutionary concept. The manufacturer claimed that the first blade lifted the hair allowing the second blade to cut it below skin level. The commercials had a very impressive, anatomically correct graphic demonstrating how this process worked, complete with hair follicles. I believe that this was the first time I had ever seen a hair follicle on television. I was impressed.
The logic of a two-blade razor made sense to me, so I bought one. I assumed then that I had found the only razor I would ever need for the remainder of my life. How could you do better than cutting your beard below skin level? Then along came the three-blade system. Again I was promised a closer shave. Although this time the argument was a bit dubious. No explanation was given for the extra blade. But we are Americans. We adhere to the philosophy of “if two of anything is good, three must be better!” To seal the deal, the three-blade razors included a “lubricating strip” to soften your beard before the blades cut it. I liked the strip idea so I bought one.
Now I am faced with this new four-blade razor. I tried it out this morning in the shower. It felt nice and heavy in my hand and glided smoothly across my face. I ran my fingers across my cheeks to see if I could feel a difference. Honestly, I couldn’t. So I picked up the box my razor came in to read up on the Quattro. Schick had its work cut out to sell me on this new product.
The first bullet on the back of the box touted the razor’s “four precisely synchronized blades.” I’ve already mentioned that I think we are in overkill territory with the multiple blade thing. Then there was the “two conditioning strips each with aloe and vitamin E.” Well, a second conditioning strip was a nice touch, and, frankly, my skin could always use a little extra vitamin E. But that still wasn’t incentive enough for me to scrap my razor for this one. The third selling point was an “ergonomic handle providing advanced precision and control.” All right, that’s just total bullshit. Lastly on the list was this feature: “anti-clog technology for improved rinsability.” Damn. I hadn’t thought about that. Multiple blade razors do clog up, and that leads to a poor shave. Anti-clog technology. Hmm, do I switch blades based on anti-clog technology? Rinsability. Come on, it’s not even a real word! Two conditioning strips. Yes, I remember. Vitamin E. Okay, okay. Aloe. Enough already. I’ll do it. I’ll switch to the Schick Quattro. On a trial basis. We thank you for your business. You’re welcome.
5:57:37 PM  Random Nonsense
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