Sleeper
You won’t believe me when I tell you this. Earlier this week, I saw another couch by the side of the road. It was less than two weeks after my last side-of-the-road castoff furniture sighting. I left work about 5:30 in the afternoon. The sun was down and it was pitch black outside. I hate that about winter. Okay, I will admit that those of us who live in the mid-latitudes are a little soft in the belly about winter. A reader in Nome, Alaska would laugh at this so-called darkness and tell me that I didn’t know what real winter darkness was like. Then if I laughed back, he would shoot me with his hunting rifle. Things get a bit tense up north when the sun disappears for months at a time. Nevertheless, I don’t like the short days of winter. The darkness works like a soporific for me, seeping into my lungs as I breathe it in. Before I know it I am yawning. It is the strangest thing. Big, lengthy, uncontrollable yawns.
As I walked out to my car in the moments before I would see the couch, the second couch in two weeks, I was already yawning and contemplating a short nap when I arrived home. I sat down in the car and yawned. I fastened the seatbelt and yawned again. I put the key in the ignition and my whole body trembled as I threw my head back and yawned vocally like Chewbacca. I put the car in gear and maneuvered toward the edge of the parking lot, yawning at least three more times. I turned the car onto the street and watched the arc of my headlights light up the side of the road. That’s when I saw the couch. I was in mid-yawn. I stopped yawning immediately and tried to focus on what I was seeing. There was something unusual about this couch. Unfortunately, my car completed its turn all too quickly and my headlights were off the couch and lighting up the road in front of me. I slowed down for a better look through the passenger window, but it was very dark and there were cars waiting behind me. I had to move on. I didn’t notice much about the condition of the couch, but I did notice this one thing: it was a sleeper sofa. How did I know that? Because it was open – fully open with the mattress still in place on top of the springs. I couldn’t see if there were sheets on the mattress. I suspect not. Also, I didn’t see any pillows.
I thought briefly about turning the car around to take a second look. Could my eyes be deceiving me? No, I saw what I saw. But rush hour traffic was buzzing all around me and I was tired, so I just went home. And took a nap. For a few moments as I was dozing off, I envisioned myself out on that mattress looking up at the stars.
I suppose it’s possible that my encounters with side-of-the-road castoff furniture could get weirder, but after these last two sightings, that’s hard to imagine.
9:52:43 PM  Stories
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