Netflix here I come
Last month when Blockbuster announced its new video rental policy I remember thinking to myself: Oh boy, this is going to be trouble. The old Blockbuster rental policy was challenging enough for the average customer. New movies were considered “two day rentals,” meaning they had to be back to the store before it closed on the second night. But wait a second, what if it’s 10 p.m. and I’m just leaving the store, I won’t even watch this movie until tomorrow night – surely tonight doesn’t count as the first night. Well, yes it does. This proved confusing enough that Blockbuster decided to modify its return policy to “noon on the third day.” The extra time was considered a grace period. In other words, your movie was still due back on the second night, but you would be given until midday on the third day to get your act together. Then the store clerks dropped all the pretences of the 2nd or 3rd day and would simply tell you, “your movie is due back by noon on Tuesday.” Finally we had some workable language. Blockbuster does not seem to understand this basic concept: people just want to rent a movie, go home, settle into a comfortable chair, drink a beer and fall asleep. They don’t want complicated rules. With respect to a return date, they want to hear the three words “Tuesday by noon.”
The new Blockbuster video return policy is a heck of a lot more complicated than “Tuesday by noon” and that is why I am predicting trouble. If you haven’t yet heard the new terms, which became effective on January 1st, I’ll try to explain them here. Better yet, perhaps the best way to tell you about the new rules is to replay the conversation I heard between a teen-aged clerk at my local Blockbuster store and a customer who was checking out some movies last Saturday, New Year’s day. The conversation went something like this.
– Okay, this is due back by Monday at noon...or a week after that.
– What?
– Haven't you heard? We no longer have late fees.
– No I haven't. How is that going to work?
– Well, it's like I said. Your movie is still due back by noon on the third day but if you can't make it in here by then, well, you have, like, another week grace period.
– Really? Would that be a week meaning seven days or a week meaning by noon on the eighth day?
– Hmm, I’m not really sure. This is like the first day and all. Anyway, it's not that important. When it gets close to a week we'll call you.
– What happens after the week grace period?
– Oh, after that we sell you the movie. You know, like, we charge it to your account, minus the cost of the rental. Something like that. I think they give you a pretty good price.
– Well, what if I don't want to buy the movie?
– Okay, then you have like thirty days to return it to us and we'll refund your money, minus a small restocking fee.
– A restocking fee? How much is that?
– Not much. A couple of bucks, I think.
– So let me see if I have this right. Let’s say I get sick and can't get back here by Monday at noon. That being the case I have until the following Monday night or possibly until noon on Tuesday to bring the movie back or I buy it for some unknown cost. But I can then return it up to thirty days from the end of the grace period, which would mean I have until…oh…February 7th or maybe the 8th to get most or at least some of my money back? Is that right?
– Yeah, something like that.
– It appears that you've raised your prices, too.
– We had to because of the whole 'no late fee' thing.
– Well, okay then. Thanks, I guess.
– No problem. We'll see you back here, you know, whenever.
6:26:03 PM 
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