The Algonquin
The Monty Python play "Spamalot" parodies King Arthur and his knights of the round table, but just a few blocks away in midtown Manhattan, the Algonquin hotel has a round table of its own. The Algonquin round table was an exclusive lunch club frequented by many of New York’s famous writers during the 1920s and 1930s, most notably Dorothy Parker, George S. Kaufman, Robert Benchley, Alexander Woollcott and Harold Ross (founder of the New Yorker). The members of the Round Table were an irascible bunch, known for their quick wit, biting sarcasm and an outspoken intolerance for anyone they didn't like, which was pretty much everyone outside of their “viscous circle” (as they were sometimes called). My kind of people. With an hour to kill before the start of Spamalot how could I not drop into the hotel for a drink and to breathe in all that literary ambience?
Unlike other literary haunts that I've visited, I have only minimal knowledge of the writers of the Algonquin round table. I have not read anything by any of these authors. Still, for me there was an aura about this place that was quite compelling. I found myself jealous of the fraternity that existed here in post World War I New York, a time when writers were afforded considerably more power and respect than they are today. A visit to the Algonquin hotel is essentially a flashback to the days before factoids and "must-see TV" when writing and writers really mattered.
The authors of the Algonquin round table may not be selling these days, but because they were so damn witty, their names are being kept alive on the pages of the many books and web sites that dedicate themselves to great quotes. Here are a few examples of quotations from the members of the round table:
"Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye." George S. Kaufman
"All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening." Alexander Woollcott
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down." Robert Benchley
"If you can't be funny, be interesting." Harold Ross
I love the Dorothy Parker quotes best of all. She never seemed to be at a loss for words. And, damn, she was funny. Here are a few:
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
My favorite Dorothy Parker quote (a poem, actually) is printed on the cocktail napkins at the Algonquin hotel bar:
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Interesting aside: On the drink menu at the Algonquin is the "Martini on a rock" which is offered at the eye-opening cost of $10,000. The martini comes with a single piece of ice, an engagement diamond which is placed in the bottom of the martini glass before serving. The drink must be ordered three days in advance and includes a private consultation with the hotel’s in-house jeweler. Ahh, ain't that romantic in an upper-class, egregious, ‘screw the starving children of Africa’ kind of way? You can quote me on that.
9:36:31 PM  Stories
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