Clowning around
Twice in the last couple of weeks I was driving in my car and looked over at the vehicle next to me only to discover that it was being driven by a clown. I'm not talking about some idiotic driver that you might refer to disparagingly as a clown, but an honest-to-goodness clown with a red bulbous nose, glutinous face make up, crazy wig and polka dot muumuu. In my last sighting there were two clowns in the same car – a his and her team. They had squeezed in to the right of me at a stop sign. I was looking left. Then, when I suddenly looked to my right, there they were, shrieking distance away. "What the hell is that?" I screamed.
I know most clowns don't work for circuses. Most make their living entertaining children at birthday parties and the like. They need to dress for work before they leave home in order to maintain the illusion. You don't want an audience of five year olds at a house party to see some guy named Bob walk into the powder room and BoBo the clown walk out. Whatever. I don’t care about the reason. The bottom line is chance encounters with clowns driving cars on the road is a bit too freaky. It reminds me of when I used to run into my teachers at a shopping mall or the grocery store. You don't expect your teachers to have real lives, and you certainly don’t expect to see clowns on the open road.
I'm thinking that clowns should not be allowed to drive around in cars as if that's normal. Instead, they should be shuttled around in special vehicles just like the ones at the circus - cartoon-like fire trucks and police paddy wagons with placards on each side that read: "Caution. Clowns Onboard." That way at least we can get ourselves mentally prepared for what we are about to see. Every so often when these vehicles stop at a stop sign or red light, the clowns should be required by law to jump out and do something silly - shoot confetti from a cannon or drop their oversized pants to expose their candy-striped knickers. Now that would be a riot. See, it's not that I don't like clowns. Quite the contrary. It's just that if they're going to be out there in full public view, they should at least act like clowns.
9:14:20 AM  Stories
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