RC in orange, Bud in Balmer (Bud’s blog #5)
Hey, its bud. I wus just up in Pencilvania visitning RC. Im not sup]osed to leave virgnina as part of my parole agrement, but, hell, if an ex-con cant cross state lines to visit his feeonsay in prison then I dont know what this worlds coming to. Anyway, I went up there and it was soo good to see RC. I mean I was all horny and shit. Its been like a year. Didn’t help none that RC looked so damn hot in her orange prison uniform. I asked the guard, you know, if we could have us some time alone, and she said, “sure you could do that, but youll have to leave you penis here with me.” I started to laugh, thinkin she was joking but then I saw from the way she was wigglin her toothpick in her mouth all addjitated and shit that she wasn’t what Id call “man friendly.” So I let it go.
Still, we had a nice visit, me and RC. Shes only got like two months more to serve. RC got a longer sentence than me on account of she tried to escape when they was transferring her from the courthouse back to her prison cell. And she got away, too. That girl is an escape artist if I ever knwe one. RCs been escaping from one thing or another all her life. Anyway, she was free from that sherrif lightnin quick and outta sight before he finished blinkin. They arrested her again down at the Greyhound station in Harrisburg boarding a bus for Toledo. She was that close to getting away for good. Its just as well they caught her though. I intend on marring that girl and its best to start a marriage off fresh on the right side of the law. Her and I, we don’t need all that baggage. Ha! That’s a pretty funny joke if you only knew it. And you will in time when I finish telling this story.
Oh and RC appolgized for only righting that one letter to me over all that time. She says shes never been much of a writer. Unlike me, shes got no skills for it. Besides, she could never scrape the money together for the stamps. All her spare cash went into buying art supplies. Shes been working real hard on her mushroom paintings in prison. RCs got this thing about mushrooms. She likes to paint and draw them and sew them up into cuddly little stuffed mushroom toys for kids. The girls on her cell block have been telling her that shes real good and that she should open up a store when she gets out where she can sell her stuff. An d she’s thinking that maybe she’ll do that. She wants to call her shop “The Happy Mushroom” if that names not already taken.
Okay, enough about that. Its time to do some catchin up and exp[laining about all the recent events in my life. If you haven’t read any my old posts then youll just have to figure out some shit on your own.
Lets see i think I left oft with that no good sum bithch Leroy trying to shake down my aunt up in Balmer, Maryland. Shes not my real aunt ya know but she thinks she is on account of she’s old and seenile and shit. Anyhow she kinda liked me and thought i was her nepfew and she gave me money and food and we both sorta grew on each other. It was one of them co-defendant kind of things. Problem was in my abstensia, along came Leroy and suddenly she thinks he’s her nepfew too. I told ya, shes all fucked up in the head that lady. So, anyways, I had to give Leroy the boot.
My aunt had disappeared unexepectely on a trip to the drugstore up the street, which kinda complicated shit. I stuck around her house for a couple a days more, wondering if she was comin back but I didnt think so. A weeks a pretty long time to be at the drugstore. I figured she wandered off for good. She dddint have any real relotives and seemed a shame for the city to get all her stuff so i started thinkin about selling off all her shit. i had even gathered up her jewelry and was about to go down to the pawn shop when i suddnely realized that this was probably illegal. I wasnt looking for no trouble. I rarely am, but that don’t seem to matter a lick. Trouble finds me.
I figured the best thing was to move on. Problem was I had spent all the money I had squeezed off that interloping Leroy and wasnt gonna get far on my good looks, as exceptional as they may be. So I went looking for a bible as I often do under extreme sircumstances like these, cause theres so much inspritation to be found in the bible and cause old people often hide money in there. Sure enough, my aunt had stashed a $100 bill. Okay, so its pretty damnable and evil to take an old womans money from her bible, but it was only a loan. I took that money with best of intentions down to the track. I was looking for a sign from up above and shitfire if I didn’t get one. In the third race, a horse called Joshua VI was running. Joshua VI is from the old testimony and the exact page where my auntie had placed that $100 bill. I bet the whole amount on Joshua VI and didn’t that horse win the race paying 2 to 1? Damn straight it did. Now I had two $100 bills. A real cad would have pocketed the whole deal and not given it a second thought, but thats not me. I put one of them $100 bills back in the bible, put the book back on the shelf and left my aunties house fur good.
I didn’t know where I was headin, except to say that it needed to get far away from Balmer. I walked for like half an hour without a thought in the world until I saw a big greyhound bus terminal sign down the block from me. I turned the corner, quickened my step, fingered that $100 bill in my pocket and walked through the front door.
More soon.
7:06:23 PM  Bud's Blog
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