One
Welcome to the Mid-Continent Airport Bar. How ya doin’ tonight?
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Ahh, I see you’ve been to Wichita before.
Two can be as bad as one
You lost me there, fella.
It's the loneliest number since the number one
I see. Well, how about a drink then?
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
No doesn’t have to be sad. Not really.
Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know
Hey, I’m just a bartender. What do I know?
`Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
One is the loneliest number, worse than two
Wait a second. You’re from that band Three Dog Night!
It's just no good anymore since she went away
I saw you guys back in ’73.
Now I spend my time just making rhymes of yesterday
Those were the days, dude. Rock and Roll ruled.
One is the loneliest, number one is the loneliest
Number one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Okay. Okay. Just keep it down, my friend.
One is the loneliest, one is the loneliest
Jeeze, you really need to talk to someone about this – a professional.
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Are you crying? Come on now.
It's just no good anymore since she went away
Look, man, it’s been like 35 years. You really need to get over her. Move on, you know?
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest
(Number) One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Okay, you know what? No chorus. No chorus! You’re starting to unnerve the other customers.
One…
Two. Three. Time for you to go.
10:09:24 PM 
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