THE WOMEN I LOVE

I have to come out of the closet, so to speak, to admit that I have some sort of attraction towards women.  Not all women, mind you, but a certain kind of woman.  I cannot describe this attraction as one that is sexual, although there is definately an erotic element to it.  I cannot describe it as purely intellectual either.  The best word I can use to describe my affinity for these women is obsession.  I am obsessed.

Inspired once more by silly "top ten" rankings, I shall give a list of the ten women I am most attracted to in no particular order:

1. SANDRA O'CONNOR, JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT  :  Her decisions are non-sensical and often based more on her own beliefs than any sort of objective rule or legal history.  Why do I like her so much?  She's a spicy conservative broad who things gays should have rights.  How could someone not love a 70 year old conservative babe who unapologetically reads the Constitution in their favor?

2. XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS:  I have never found lesbian sex particularly appealing.  Call me crazy.  But when Xena gets in a tub with her little female friend on the show, I cannot help but be intrigued.  She's got a sword and knows how to use it.  No man scares her.  She's the Wonder Woman of the 1990's. 

3. DAME JUDY DENCH : 

When she comes on the scene in the recent James Bond movies Dame Judy Dench steals the show.  Now, to be clear about this, she does insist on the use of her title.  I will chide anyone who fails to call her what she is, a Dame.  She gives "There ain't nothing like a dame" a whole new meaning.

4. VANDANA SHIVA, INDIAN ACTIVIST AND ORIGINAL TREE HUGGER :   She tells the women of India to hug trees.  Now this is an ecofeminist I can admire.  I was lucky enough to meet Ms. Shiva during a visit to my undergraduate institution.  It is because of her book, Saving Nature, that I began to rethink my own relationship to the environment.

5. JAMIE LEE GLEICHER, RICH GIRL. 

Sure, Paris Hilton had her own show but in Jamie's version, we see her real, sad and often crazy side.  I loved it.  Jamie can spend $400 on a pair of boots but yet be believalbly depressed.  I salute her.  **BONUS:  She has THE cutest brother.  I would give anything to date him.  The episode where he cried about his sick dog still makes me emotional.

6. SENATOR DOLE, ELIZABETH, THAT IS :  I will always have fond memories of Liz in a yellow jump suit at the Republican Convention in 1996 working the crowd like she was Oprah.  She and her husband are not your ordinary Republicans.  They have style, are truly compassionate and she's just sweet.  **BONUS: She replaced one of the worst Senators of all time.

7. LISA LOEB: What ever happened to her?  A true one-hit wonder, she fell off the radar screen pretty quickly but I'm waiting for the comeback.

8. ANNE RICHARDSON, FORMER HOST OF THE WEAKEST LINK :  She's a little old English lady that likes to wear black coats, leather and likes to dominate.  Now she's my kind of woman.  American audiences couldn't handle a strong woman and soon she was labeled the weakest link and was replaced by A MAN who looks suprisingly similar.  Anne, I want you back in the US.  Bring us that evil glare and strong, mean and biting commentary.

9. KYLIE MINOGUE : Sure, I am getting a little gay here, but I think that when I saw her "I Can't Get You Out of my Head" video, I almost creamed my pants. I'm not sure if it was her music, her moves or that lovely outfit but something got it moving.

10. Last, but not least, ARIANA HUFFINGTON, SALON.COM COLUMNIST AND AUTHOR : Ariana, rumor has it that you've been with a gay man before.  How about one more?  There's just something about that Greek accent and that great line from the debates in California for the governor's seat, "Arnold, is that how you treat women?"

Does my attraction make me bi-sexual?  Need I have an identity crisis?

11:56:05 PM