A SUMMER IN HAWAII

In just a month I will be moving back home to Hawaii.  While spending a summer in Hawaii sounds like a dream come true for most outsiders, for a boy like me who spent most of his life there, it is something to be scared of. Why?  Well, check out the top five things wrong with being gay in Hawaii:

1. TOO MANY TOURISTS:  I go out to a bar and there are a slew of tourists looking to get laid.  While this is not necessarily bad (free drinks!!) it gets old quickly.  I do not want to hookup with some married guy who escaped his family for a gay sex romp in the islands.  Well, not every night.  Dude, I am not your Hawaiian vacation.

2. SHELTERED BOYS: Besides tourists, the other prevelent male species in the Hawaii gay scene is the boy who never left the islands.  While in some ways this is attractive, I find it hard to talk to them for very long. 

3. WARM WEATHER: You are now saying, "What?  I love warm weather!"  Me too.  But sometimes it can get too warm.  Too humid and too warm.  All I want to do is take off my clothes...hmm...maybe this isn't all bad. 

4. RACE PROBLEMS: More so than anywhere else I've lived in the United States, the gay scene in Hawaii split racially. Check out the chat rooms -- you'll see "white only" or "prefer asian" all over the place.  Boys...get over it!

5. THE MILITARY: If you are looking for a closeted military boy, then Hawaii is the place!!  The boys and Pearl Harbor seem to think that if they are not in the mainland US, it is okay to flaunt their homosexuality.  I've met boys in the local gay bars that are quite open about being in the military despite the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell (and Don't be a Homo)" policy of the US Military.  I went out with a military boy once and within ten minutes of our first conversation he said, "If another country doesn't agree with us we should bomb it and turn in into a parking lot."  The date did not last much longer.

So, if there are any boys out there who want to rescue me from this hell hole some people call paradise, I'd gladly take your offer.

1:58:00 AM