HETEROSEXUAL NORMS

I have always been wary of claims of normality and moral rightness in relation to sexual norms.  All too often Judeo-Christian ethics have deemed that only monogamous heterosexual relationships are worthwhile.  For many years my own life has provided me with the means of questioning such norms.  I found great joy in one-night stands or on-going “fuckbuddy” relationships.  In both my words and actions I decided to question the assumption that joy can only be found in long-term monogamous relationships.

Have things changed?   I find myself, for the first time in more than two years, in a relationship that is indefinite and serious.  I find myself wanting monogamy.  Luckily the person I have fallen in love with has a similar past: we were both “sluts” who cannot even count the number of people we’ve had sexual relations with.  We discuss our past hookups fondly without fear that either of us will seek out these kind of relationships while dating each other.

We have, however, seemingly bought into heterosexual norms.  By agreeing to be monogamous have we just simply accepted societal norms or is this “natural?” 

This long-term relationship also makes it easier for both of us to come out to those extended family members that we have not yet informed about or status.  Instead of saying just, “I’m a fag” we can say “I’m a fag with a boyfriend.”  Somehow people prefer to hear the latter than hearing that we are gay and sleeping around with many people at the same time.

I need to find a way to question norms while simultaneously living within them.

TOPIC NUMBER TWO: CHANGE

It is a season of many changes.  In two weeks I will fly to Portland to be with my boy one last time before heading off to a year of law school.

As a way of ushering in these changes I plan to do some major revisions to this site.  I am getting quite tired of seeing a photo of my weird face at the top of this site and I need to add a slew of new friends to my sidebar.  Be on the lookout for major revisions.

11:57:09 AM