Sunday, March 28, 2004

When Greenville Turned Brown The EPA has a helpful tutorial on the Superfund, with a poem and pictures 'n' stuff. The poem is entitled "When Greenville Turned Brown." Even though it's for kids, it provides an easy way to get up to speed on the Superfund project. Some excerpts: A small town called Greenville was a nice place to live, With forests and ponds, it had lots to give. The people were happy in this little town, Until something happened and Greenville turned brown. The crystal blue sky one day turned gray, The flowers all wilted and the birds flew away. "My crops will not grow!" cried Farmer John Deer, "My well water is purple, and it used to be clear!" "We can't even breathe from the stench in the air!" The townspeople were angry, so they called in the Mayor. "Our town is not healthy, we're all getting sick. You must do something about it and do it right quick!" [snip] The Mayor took the stand, she had something to say. "I will call EPA and I will call them today." "But what can they do?" asked Mr. McDoubt, "They protect the environment, that's what they're about. Under the Superfund Law that was passed, They can clean up this place and they can clean it up fast." The Mayor picked up the phone and she called EPA, "The Town of Greenville," she said, "needs your help right away." And what do you suppose the EPA said? There is no evidence of pollution or shit. Why do you want industry from Greenville to quit? Must you slander upright companies and complain? They've contributed so much to the Bush campaign! Errr... sorry. That's not what it says. Here it goes... The EPA experts soon came up with a plan To clean up the water, the air, and the land. "We'll bring in our scrubbers, our dusters, our mops, We'll clean from the ground up to the tree tops. We'll make sure your water is again safe to drink, And we'll make sure that your town is rid of that stink. [snip] Mr. Drumleaky was not aware, That he had broken the law and caused quite a scare. "I did not know throwing waste on the ground, Would bring so much harm to this tiny town." So Mr. Drumleaky had shown some remorse, When EPA asked for help, he said, "of course." But the Globby Glue product was still in demand Did all of this mean that the glue was now banned? Mr. Drumleaky went to ask EPA, "Can I still sell my Globby Glue? I have bills to pay." "You can still make the glue, and you don't have to make less, You'll just have to make it without making a mess." So the factory reopened, with new rules in place, For preventing pollution and cleaning up waste. [snip] Then one morning after working all night, The town woke up to a beautiful sight. The air was now fresh, and the sky, it was blue! The birds had come back and the fishes had too. Everyone saw that the town was now clean The small Town of Greenville, Was once again green! I love stories with happy endings. 11:01:22 PM    comment [] The Daily Show on the Clarke Controversy John Stewart breaks down the Administration's response. My favorite line: Let me get this straight. On September 12, 2001, Bush didn't use the Situation Room? What "situation" was he saving it for? You know what? Honestly, take the plastic off the chairs and use the Situation Room! 9:58:37 PM    comment [] "That means ..." One of President Bush's favorite phrases is "That means ..." He uses it to define an ideal or policy in plain-spoken language. It functions on the surface as a populist turn of phrase. Oftentimes he uses it to state the bloody obvious ... See, there's a lot of talk about productivity increases. It means his workers are more productive. They can make more products in the same amount of time as before. That means more productive. But as I said, if he was mistreated because of his ethnicity, I'm going to be plenty hot. That means angry. ... or to make a dumb joke: Another member of my team who is here who helps us have a strong and certain foreign policy is Senorita Condoleezza Arroz. (Applause and laughter.) That means rice. (Laughter.) Other times he says things that are nonsensical: And one of the jobs that Laura is going to take on -- and I certainly I hope I can, too -- is to encourage youngsters to become teachers. That means, of course, safe classrooms. However, attention to his use of the phrase can often be quite revealing, in the way that attention to phrases such as "of course," "therefore," and "certainly" frequently reveals rhetorical trickery. For example, on Iraq and the WOT: And the war on terror is just not al Qaeda. There are other terrorists around. There are other threats to our country with which we must deal. And that means -- and one place is Iraq. ["Terrorist threat" = Iraq] On fiscal policy: But with the right policies, I'm confident our economy will recover. The right policies -- fiscal policies. And that means giving people money back, in plain language. (Applause.) Or, better yet, don't take it in the first place. I think the American people will be interested to know that in the first quarter of the fiscal year we received $74 billion more than we spent. In spite of the fact that the economy is slowing down, our cash flow coming into the Treasury is significant, which means our taxpayers are being over-charged. That's what that means. ["Right fiscal policy" = tax cuts. "Surplus" = overcharge.] On tax cuts: What you hear in Washington is, a lot of times you hear people saying, well, I'm for tax relief, just so long as only a certain number of people get it. That's right. That's what we call targeted tax relief. That means somebody in Washington gets to pick the winners and somebody gets to pick who doesn't win. That is not our view of fair tax relief. Everybody who pays taxes ought to get tax relief in America. [As if the President's tax policy doesn't favor certain tax brackets over others.] On the non-continuation or repeal of tax cuts: People have got to understand and listen to the rhetoric carefully. When they say, we're going to repeal Bush's tax cuts, that means they're going to raise your taxes, and that's wrong, and that's bad economics. When you hear, "We're going to repeal the Bush tax cuts," that means tax increases. That's what that is. "I'm going to raise your taxes," is what they're saying. ["Tax cut non-continuation/repeal" = tax increase] On the WOT and personal sacrifice: And, finally, one of the values that I know John [Thune] holds dear to his heart is the value that his World War II fighter pilot daddy taught him. And that is, sometimes you have to sacrifice for freedom; sometimes it's important to serve something greater than yourself to secure the freedom. And that means in the 21st century that we've got to sacrifice here in America to protect ourselves. [The WOT, including the War in Iraq, is an obligatory sacrifice for freedom equivalent to World War II.] On Social Security: In order to make sure that there is a Social Security system around tomorrow, we've got to get a better rate of return on the money in the Social Security trust. And that means trusting people with their own money, to make wise decisions as to how to get a better rate of return than the 2 percent in the Social Security trust. [Privatizing Social Security = trusting people with their money.] On an environmental official in the administration: I appreciate Jim Connaughton, who's the Chairman of the Council on Environmental Quality. That means he works in the White House and helps coordinate policy out of the White House. Jimmy is doing a fine job. [Yes, when I hear the title "Chairman of the Council on Environmental Quality," the most apt definite description I can think of is "the person who helps coordinate policy out of the White House."] On the notion of a "grass roots" campaign: Ellen Williams runs the party here and Mike Duncan is the national committeeman and all of you all involved in the grass-roots -- that means fixing to turn out the vote, that's what that means to me. ["Grass roots" = party officials getting people out to vote.] On free trade: America has got five percent of the world's population. That means 95 percent of potential customers are in other countries. [That also means 95 percent of potential workers are in other countries. And of the 95 percent, more are willing to work for less than are able to afford our goods.] On energy policy: And one of the keys to energy security in America, and national security, is to have a diversified energy base. That means oil; that means gas; that means safe nuclear energy; that means clean coal technologies to make sure the abundance of coal that we use is done in a friendly -- environmentally friendly way. ["Diversified energy base" = oil, gas, nuclear and coal.] On social welfare: First, our country must recognize there are some who are being left behind, and we've got to deal with it. That means more budgets, but it also means standing on the side of faith-based institutions who exist because they've heard the call to love a neighbor like they would like to be loved themselves, and rally the great compassion of America. ["Social welfare" = favoring faith-based institutions.] And every once in a while, he actually takes a misleading phrase and defines it in more straightforward English: Stewardship contracting -- what that means is is that private organizations or businesses will be able to do the necessary thinning, and they'll be able to remove small trees and undergrowth, and they'll be able to keep part of what they remove as partial payment. That seems to make sense to me. So whenever the President says "That means ..." I advise perking up your ears. It means he's likely to say something interesting (either for its stupidity, its trickery, or its blunt honesty). 2:57:54 AM    comment []

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