Sunday, March 28, 2004

Cassandra Asks Knock knock  A Riddle Q: How do you get Condi Rice to shut up?   A: Swear her in. Cassandra is brought to you by  Bill Frist specializing in high dudgeon and low farce. 2:16:31 AM    comment []

Saturday, March 27, 2004

White House retreat on 9/11 claims 1. By KENNETH R. BAZINET and THOMAS M. DeFRANK DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU WASHINGTON - A member of the 9/11 commission said yesterday that national security adviser Condoleezza Rice indicated in a private session she was wrong to have once stated no one expected terrorists to use planes as missiles. The White House reportedly also backpedaled yesterday on whether President Bush pressed counterterror czar Richard Clarke the day after the attacks to find evidence that Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was involved. There is also a conflict between Dr. Rice's statements placing blame for the intelligence failures on Mr. Clarke while, at the same time, Vice President Cheney says that Clarke was out of the loop. Speaking for the White House, Scott McClellan admitted that when he previously had said that "Mr. Clarke was playing fast and loose with the truth" that "I just kinda made that one up." Clarke, Rice and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld will all appear on talk shows tomorrow to press their case. Rice, who has refused to testify before the panel without conditions, explained that while she would like to appear before the 9/11 commission in public and under oath, she was advised by the White House council that perjury was illegal. One issue was her May 16, 2002, statement at the White House when she said, "I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center . . . that they would try to use . . . a hijacked airplane as a missile." Intelligence reports had detailed such plans as much as five years before 9/11. Richard Ben-Veniste, a member of the 9/11 panel, said that during a closed door session Rice revised that statement. "She corrected [herself] in our private interview by saying, 'I could not anticipate that they would try to use an airplane as a missile,' but acknowledging that the intelligence community could anticipate it," Ben-Veniste said. "No reports of the use of airplanes as weapons were briefed or presented to Dr. Rice prior to May 2002, or, if they were she never got around to reading them, or maybe she read them and forgot or her attention wandered or she got a phone call in the middle and lost her place" said her spokesman Sean McCormack. Even some of Rice's associates as well as congressional Republicans think muzzling Rice is a political blunder. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said yesterday, speaking under the promise of anonymity "Personally, I think her voice is so good, so powerful if she came before the 9/11 commission publicly she could probably get away with whatever whoppers we were pushing that day." 12:32:29 PM    comment []

Friday, March 26, 2004

Cassandra Hosts Guest Editorial Adventures in Over-Writing For some bizarre reason, the Bush Administration is determined to alienate the families of the victims of 9/11. Already unhappy about the broken promises of increased funds for first responders, a great many of them were hurt by Bush-Cheney's use of images of Ground Zero and a casket of remains in campaign ads. If that wasn't bad enough, the Bush people turned unhappiness to anger by dismissing the 9/11 families' objections, calling them "lefties" who were "coached by the Democrats." A vast number of 9/11 families were powerfully moved by Richard Clarke's apology. Many openly wept as they said that this is what they had waited 2 ½ years to hear. More than one said that Clarke's words will help them heal. As the administration attacked Clarke, anger gave way to outrage and loathing. And today Senate Majority Leader Frist denounced the apology, calling it "theatrical." This follows William Kristol's denunciation of the " pseudo-apology (that) has cheapened the public discourse." This is not what those families want to hear. If the Bush supporters want to change that loathing to white hot detestation, to implacable enmity, this is precisely the way to do it. This September the Republicans will meet in New York City to celebrate Bush/Cheney O4. Do not be surprised if outside the hall, standing stock still in deafening silence, one thousand, three thousand, five thousand relatives of the victims of 9/11, their friends and supporters, form a tableau of irresistible reproach. Should this happen, the election will be over. The self-inflicted wound will have proved fatal. Jonathan Swiller 8:51:50 PM    comment []

Cassandra Wonders Okay, Let's Look A Sauced Goose Bill Frist is leading the charge to declassify Richard Clarke's previous testimony in order to search for contradictions. Dr. Frist makes ominous noises about perjury charges. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Condi Rice has decided to ask that she be allowed to amend her previous testimony. Obviously, Senator Frist, non-partisan protector of the Republic, will surely now ask that Dr. Rice's testimony should also be brought to light and any moment now he will advise her that perjury is a serious crime. or should we not hold our breaths? Cassandra is brought to you by  Moral Relativism  The Truth Is Out Of Luck! 8:01:27 PM    comment []

Cassandra Swoons Her Mother, Her Sister, Her Mother, Her Sister. Let's see If We've Got This Straight Okiedoke, The White House had the right to waive Richard Clarke's confidentiality because he was speaking for the administration in the backgrounder in question. and as Scott McClellan points out, Clarke has to explain the contradictions in what he told the 9/11 Commission and what he said in the backgrounder. because, as Scott McClellan further points out: "This was Mr. Clarke describing what he knew in his own words. This was not anybody but Mr. Clarke making these comments. Q But, Scott, in this administration when reporters go and ask you, other persons around here, we get the same words -- the same words come out. There's no variation or anything. Was he -- MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think that's a sign that we're following the President's direction and his policies. Q You're following talking points, correct? MR. McCLELLAN: No. Again, you need to separate out some of this. This was Mr. Clarke, on his own, making these comments back in the spring of 2002. This was him in his own words." So, since this was Clarke, "on his own...in his own words" how the hell does the White House get to give Fox permission to break confidentiality? Cassandra is brought to you by Situational Ethics   Play along at home 5:34:16 AM    comment []

Cassandra Affirms Weird Priorities Le Coup D'Etat, C'est Moi! Cassandra understands why the Bushies are so pissed at Richard Clarke He somehow thinks that the oath of office he took was to the Constitution rather than to the Bush Family. Former Navy Secretary John Lehmann knows which side his flag is buttered on. He didn't even try to make a pretense when he quoted from a transcript slipped to him by Fox to be used in trashing Clarke. In defense of party he'd bravely sacrifice his last country. Cassandra is brought to you by Patriotism Lite   A Bush Family Enterprise 3:15:40 AM    comment []

Cassandra Ain't Talking Fox Burns A Source Fox not only makes up news, now they're making up rules too. Fox has come up with a novel release clause to journalism's unbreakable rule against burning a source: The White House gave them permission. It works this way: They promise the source (in this example Richard Clarke) anonymity, so that he will talk to them on background. Then later, when what he says pisses off his former employer the Bush White House, Fox gets permission from that very same employer to out its source. Neat huh? Obviously, other, more professional news orgaizations aren't going to accept such a flagrant debasement of journalistic ethics. Except maybe CNN, which took the story and ran with it. But the rest of the press was so irate and disgusted, they were shocked into silence for days (maybe longer). Where is the outrage? Where is the indignation? With the weapons of mass destruction maybe? (you know, those thing that we went to war over, whose non-existence George Bush and Washington Press Corps find so funny.) Okiedokie, potential whistleblowers make note: Fox burns sources CNN goes along The rest of the press find nothing wrong with it. So, keep your mouth shut! Cassandra is brought to you by Journalistic Ethics   One of the truly great oxymorons. 2:36:17 AM    comment []

Cassandra Predicts Anybody Need A Term Paper Subject? Flip Flop? Cassandra has a research project to offer. We'd do it ourselves, but why not share the fun? Go back to the news reports just after Clinton bombed Al Qaeda sites in the '90s. Make a list of the Republicans who denounced the then President for "wagging the dog," that is to say, staging a military action to distract attention from his very domestic problems. Now, make a list of those Republicans who denouncing Clinton for not taking more military action against Al Qaeda. For every name you find on both lists we'll give you a lollipop. Honest Cassandra is brought to you by Journalistic Ethics   For sale cheap. Hardly used. 1:54:51 AM    comment []

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Cassandra Is Reassured Your Government At Work Considering the possibility of studying the feasability of undertaking a review. MR. McCLELLAN (White House Spokesman): Well, Mike, I think that we did take steps to change some of the ideas that had been discussed in the previous administration. In fact, Mr. Clarke has stated such in his comments that have now been released in a transcript by a news station. He made that very clear, that we were -- immediately upon coming into office, this President directed the administration to provide -- or to pursue a comprehensive strategy to eliminate al Qaeda, not roll it back. And that process began very early on. But at the same time, this administration began looking at some of the ideas that had been discussed, but not decided on in the previous administration, and worked to come to some decisions on those ideas and begin changing policy. Let's see: They took steps to change ideas that had been discussed and They began looking at some of the ideas that had been discussed, but not decided on in the previous administration, and worked to come to some decisions on those ideas and begin changing policy And Richard Clarke dared to say they weren't doing anything. Cassandra is brought to you by ACTIVE VERBS   Your "Go Gettum" part of speech! 7:19:00 PM    comment []

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Cassandra Vomits We Distort, You Deride Fear and Malice Fox news slipped a transcript of a background briefing with Richard Clarke to Republican members of the 9/11 Commission. Shortly thereafter Fox began playing a tape of the briefing. Fox slipped a transcript of a 2002 briefing by Clarke on background to Republican members of the 9/11 Commission. They said the tape, in which Clarke was a representative of the Bush Administration putting forward that administration's position contradicts what he says now. They explain that since Clarke was representing the Administration and the White House released Fox from "Background" constraints they were free to play it (without asking Clarke). Aside from the ethics (or lack thereof) of burning a source, there is the question of how clean it is to slip it to one side for purely partisan reasons? Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Party Before Patriotism! 4:25:32 PM    comment []

Cassandra Wonders Who's In Charge Here? We don't know what we don't know, but we've got an idea as to who doesn't want us to know it Tom Kean, Chairman of the 9/11 Commission, has been told that there are certain questions that he may not ask. A commission to investigate the treatment of the Commission anyone? Cassandra is brought to you by The White House   Don't Ask. Don't Tell. 1:27:46 AM    comment []

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Cassandra Stares Slack Jawed Say What? He Wasn't? Let's put aside for a moment what most of the White House mugger-flackers are saying about Richard Clarke: "If Al Qaeda was being overlooked,  the one to blame was Clarke. After all, he was the Anti-Terrorism Czar." Which would be a slightly more persuasive argument if Cheney wasn't saying, at the very same time, that Mr Clarke "was out of the loop." (Can't they get their character attacks straight?) BUT THAT'S NOT THE BIG STORY OF THE DAY! Nope. Everybody missed the big story, so here it is, right from Scott McClellan's daily press briefing: Q: Scott, this morning, you said the President didn't recall the conversation in the Situation Room on September 12th that Mr. Clarke said he had, where the President asked Dick Clarke three times to pursue links between 9/11 and Iraq.  And you said he doesn't -- I had two questions. So did the President tell you or somebody in the White House over the weekend, he doesn't recall? MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I talked to him. He doesn't recall that conversation or meeting. Q: And that was -- he said it this morning, or this weekend? When did he say that? MR. McCLELLAN: Well, this weekend and this morning, yes. Q: Okay. And secondly, Clarke now says that he has three eyewitnesses, and he repeated it again this morning, and he named them -- to the conversation. MR. McCLELLAN: Let's just step backwards -- regardless, regardless, put that aside. There's no record of the President being in the Situation Room on that day that it was alleged to have happened, on the day of September the 12th. When the President is in the Situation Room, we keep track of that. But put all that aside, let's go to the heart of the matter. This was supposedly the day after the September 11th attacks. And, of course, you want to look at all possibilities of who might be responsible. It would be irresponsible not to consider all responsibilities. Did you see it as it flashed by? Here it is again in slo-mo "MR. McCLELLAN: Let's just step backwards -- regardless, regardless, put that aside. There's no record of the President being in the Situation Room on that day that it was alleged to have happened, on the day of September the 12th." The Situation Room of the White House is focal point of all the heavy duty military and intelligence action. (Hell, you've watched the West Wing.) And on the day after 9/11, Bush didn't go down there once! HUH? Cassandra is brought to you by Real Life   Now it's gonna get interesting. 1:21:59 AM    comment []

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Cassandra Nods "Nod, nod, smile, nod" Attention Non-Existence Disorder One of the slams on George Bush is that he isn't a hard worker. This is easily disproved. Just watch him listen to someone else speaking No one works as hard at trying to maintain at least the appearance of paying attention. The remarks by Irish Prime Ahern are a prime example (watch as the fingers on Bush's left hand begin to dance). Press "view" at this site. Cassandra is brought to you by JOLT!   Twice the caffeine! 2:13:18 PM    comment []

Cassandra Assumes You Mean It Isn't All Clinton's Fault? What Condi Won't Say In Public The short version: Clinton's national security team put in place a a policy focused on countering terror in general and Al Qaeda in particular. When the Bush team came in, even before Ari Fleischer was putting out the false story of the trashed White House Berger, Holbrook and others from Clinton's NSC were briefing Condoleezza Rice on their belief that continuing, even heightening the campaign against Al Qaeda. This is something the 9/11 Commission wants to talk to her about and it's the major reason she refuses to testify publicly. 3:51:14 AM    comment []

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Cassandra Apologizes Vindication Misunderestimated Truthlike Story Revelations According to sources within Cassandra's head, the White House will reveal tomorrow that there is substantive proof of something in someway related to the underpinnings of the explanation as to why we were forced to go to war with Iraq. The CIA has just finished translating a document found in the rubble of a podiatrist's office in Tikrit. We have had a brief glance at the document entitled: "Weapons of Mass Destruction-Related Program Activities Scenario Planning Projection Forecast Report" Much of the report consists of full color reproductions of the Flash Gordon comic strip, with hand-written comments by Saddam Hussein in the margins: ("got it," "got it," "need it," "gornischt helfen!" "got it") Inexplicably the report also contains proof of George Bush's National Guard service in Alabama and a photograph of John Kerry making out with Jane Fonda. Cassandra is brought to you by WalMart   Disrupting Communities, Nationwide. 4:18:20 PM    comment []

Friday, March 19, 2004

Cassandra Joins Are You Willing? You Too Can Be A Nation! Ever want to be a nation? We can make you into one. Just sign on to the Coalition Of The Willing (it's just like the Justice League) promise to donate something to the cause (don't worry, that's just a formality, we'll pay you back) and your in! You'll even get this lovely Certificate of Recognition:     Cassandra is brought to you by Axis of Evil   Formerly SPECTR. 9:33:29 PM    comment []

Cassandra Seethes Toss The Bum In Prison Cheney: "I invented the oubliette." A new Bush ad tells us that John Kerry voted against "body armor for our troops in combat." We then hear the clerk of the Senate call "Mr. Kerry." followed by a curt: "no." We think that's just awful of Kerry! So awful, we had to see for ourselves. Oddly enough, we couldn't find a bill on body armor. There was one for billions and billions of dollars for all sorts of different things including $300 million for body armor, but obviously that isn't the one that Bush and Cheney mean (that would be ridiculously misleading). So what happened to the Body Armor Bill? IT'S NOT THERE! There's only one explanation (It's the same reason we weren't safe from terrorists, have a lousy economy and are plagued by sex mad homosexuals who want to get married) Bill Clinton! Clinton must have hacked the Senate's computer files. Is there no end to these people's crimes?                             Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   "If they're on the left, how can they be right?" 6:58:33 PM    comment []

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Cassandra Pries Cheney Fight For Openess What Privacy? It seems that John Kerry had a private conversation in which he referred to hearing that some World leaders were hoping that he'd win the election. That much got leaked. The Republicans demanded to know which World leaders Kerry meant. Kerry said that he wouldn't reveal private conversations. In reaction Vice President Dick Cheney said Americans deserved to know. Apparently this right of the American people to be privy to all details of partially leaked conversations that were intended to be private doesn't extend to knowing anything about Cheney's conference with oil company executives that led to the formation of a national energy policy. That sounds about right Cassandra is brought to you by Halliburton   Trust Us!. 12:11:15 AM    comment []

Monday, March 15, 2004

Cassandra Hides You call that mean? The good old days We keep hearing that this will be the meanest campaign ever. But will it? There's some stiff competition for that title. Aren't we overlooking the election of 1800, when Thomas Jefferson said of John Adams: "The man is a vile liar, a thief of the first water a whore monger and a pedarast!" Or, what about 1860, when Abraham Lincoln sent squads of thugs to beat up likely Douglas voters? And doesn't this election pale when compared to 1956. That was the year that Adlai Stevenson kidnapped Dwight Eisenhower's grandson David and threatened to sell him to the French if Ike didn't concede the election. Nope, when it comes to truly filthy election tactics, these guys are pikers. Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   If it's been on Drudge, it's fact! 11:37:44 PM    comment []

Cassandra Vibrates ESP at the NYT Giving Offense John Kerry denounced "the most crooked, you know, lying group I've ever seen." When asked whom he meant, he said: "I was speaking of the vicious G.O.P. attack machine." But William Safire knows better.   In his column in the N.Y.Times he tells us (repeatedly) that Kerry was actually referring to "tens of millions of American voters,  including even veterans." While Mr. Safire's psychic abilities are legendary, I have to differ with him this time. Mr. Kerry was speaking of grandmothers, widows, orphans and puppy dogs." Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Truth, custom made. 9:10:07 PM    comment []

Cassandra Cringes That Bad, Bad Liberal The President wouldn't lie. In his hardest hitting ad so far, George Bush has denounced John Kerry for voting to kill puppies, expressing hatred for mothers and planning to raise taxes a "million-billion-gazillion dollars." The subject was raised at the White House press briefing. Q: What proof is there behind the charges in the President's new ad? McClellan: I refer you to my previous comment on this. Q: But your previous comment was that you would have an answer at this press conference. McClellan: And I stand by that. Q: Stand by what? McClellan: I stand by my previous comment. Q: Then give us the answer? McClellan: I did give you the answer. Q: What was the answer? McClellan: That I refer you to my previous answer. Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Creativity in journalism. 6:27:02 PM    comment []

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Cassandra Checks Kerry Exposed! Facts Don't Lie You could look it up. Using his weekly radio address, George Bush made his hardest hitting attack on John Kerry yet, quoting the Senator saying: "I am against America and in favor of her worst enemies"       Mark Racicot has distributed documentation backing up this accusation: "I am against1... America2... and in favor3... of4... her worst enemies5" 1 Senate speech on sale of Federal lands, 8/6/94 2 Debate, Iowa, 1/5/04 3 Comments in Committee on Renewable Resources 12/11/99 4 Victory speech, New Hampshire, 1/27/04 5 Winter Soldier Investigation, Detroit, MI. 1/31/71 Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Made up fresh daily. 4:27:49 PM    comment []

Cassandra Asks Your Turn We Really Want To Know! It is widely believed that George Bush will honor that great American tradition: the October Surprise. The question is: What will it be? Obviously, a few of you will say: "But Cassandra, that would spoil the surprise!" Point taken. None-the-less (and never-the-more), we really, really, really wanna know! So, here's your chance to be a junior oracle:  Cassandra's Guess the October Surprise Contest Will it be Osama delivered wrapped in bows? No taxes for anyone? War with France? Suspension of the Constitution? You tell us. Then come October we'll have a winner. And, honest, there'll be a damned fine prize! Put your answer in the comment box or send an email to ppp@frontiernet.net. (And let us know if we can use your name.) Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   God's Channel! 2:56:08 AM    comment []

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Cassandra Berates Cowards and Ten-Year-Olds Grow Up and Speak Up! Throughout the country there are two parties, the Republican Party and The Democratic Part. However in D.C. that second one is the "Democrat" Party. That's because the Republicans, acting like 4th grade bullies, think it's really neat to get the other guy's name wrong. The Dems don't say anything for fear of looking like whiners. Have the Democrats considered the simple idea of waiting for the next time the word is trotted during a joint appearance with a Republican on Meet The Press,  Nightline or whatever and replying: "Why should the American people listen to you?    You're so (ignorant/ out of touch / dumb / brain damaged from tertiary syphilis) that you don't know the name of one of the two American political parties?" Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   We Do News Gud. 11:07:48 PM    comment []

Cassandra Hosts Guest Poet Cassandra invites rebuttal doggeral from responsible versifiers. Watching telly home in Britain A lonely druid was most smitten A professor of anatomy The love he felt just had to be So moved was our carin' pagan He sought the help of Daryn Kagan I adore the lass who does the weather We must spend our lives together Every fiber I possess loves this meteorologess My pulsing brain, my throbbing heart mourn the fact that we're apart 'Life with her would be so grand' shouts my sad pineal gland My spleen trembles, my lungs burn Emotion makes my stomach churn Dear Ms Kagan, lovely anchoress Help me now, before my pancreas Dies from a need, so large, tremendous It overwhelms my poor appendix My steaming blood, my boiling kidney every organ loves Orleon Sidney jonathan swiller Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Dumb as dirt! 8:53:08 PM    comment []

Cassandra Pales Kerry Breaks Fifth Commandment! (maybe Fourth) Kerry Hates His Parents! In their most hard-hitting ad to date the Bush Administration has accused John Kerry of breaking the Fifth Commandment (fourth if you're Catholic): "Honor thy father and thy mother." Marc Racicot, Chairman Bush-Cheney 04, distributed to the press an affidavit signed by James Trainor, who identifies himeself as a childhood friend of the Massachussetts Senator. Trainor states: "We were about 7 or 8,  and we'd just started a game of tetherball.    Suddenly there was Mrs. Kerry, telling Johnny he had to come home for dinner.    He wanted to keep playing,  but she insisted.    That's when he told her  'I hate you!' On top of that he started to cry." "Is this the man we want leading us in the fight against terror?" Racicot asked. Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Rated Number One in car chase coverage! 5:29:55 PM    comment []

Cassandra Desecrates Book 'em, Dano! Arrest That Dictionary! In the wake of the infamous Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction, Congress set aside such petty matters as the War Against Terror, the gazillion dollar deficit and defending marriage,  to focus on the dangers of Howard Stern. Their swift response was HR 3717, the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act of 2004. The legislation would dramatically increase the fines for the transmission of "obscene, indecent, or profane" language on television or radio. Now, far be it from us to quibble, but the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "profane" as: 1 : to treat (something sacred) with abuse, irreverence, or contempt : DESECRATE 2 : to debase by a wrong, unworthy, or vulgar use That would pretty much shut down any comment, by anyone, on anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they meant something else. That doesn't change what the law says. And what is and what isn't "indecent"? Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   Never Offensive. 3:07:59 PM    comment []

Cassandra Recites Bush Approved Poetry Corner Decisivity  Two roads diverged within a wood I took the one I knew I should And rarely thought of it again I made the right decision then Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   The full spectrum of opinion, from Hannity to O'Reilly 12:39:13 PM    comment []

Cassandra Empathizes Hold On To Your Dreams Finally his time? For years George W Bush dreamed of being elected President. This November he might finally get his chance. Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   The network that thinks for you. 4:49:09 AM    comment []

Cassandra Boggles The Dale & Andrew Carnagie Course: How To Enrich Friends and Influence Nations (AP) A majority of people in Canada, Mexico and five European countries have an unfavorable view of the role that President Bush plays in world affairs, Associated Press polls found. Only in the United States did a majority of those questioned, 57 percent, have a positive view of President Bush's role. The AP polls were conducted by Ipsos, an international polling firm, in Britain, Canada, France, Italy, Germany, Mexico, Spain and the United States. Just over half in Mexico and Italy had a negative view of Mr. Bush's role. In Britain, the closest U.S. ally in the war in Iraq, and in Canada, two-thirds had a negative view." Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   We like him. 3:13:03 AM    comment []

Friday, March 12, 2004

Cassandra Mourns Terrorism Is Terrorism Is Terrorism The Price Of Appeasement It is in no way an attempt to justify or minimize the vile murder of men, women and children in the train bombing yesterday to point out the outright stupidity of Spain's position in April, 2002 when it joined with such nations as France, Belgium, Portugal, Sweden and Austria to endorse a resolution in the United Nations Human Rights Commission reaffirming "the legitimacy of the struggle of peoples for liberation from foreign occupation by all available means including armed struggle." 2:09:55 PM    comment []

Cassandra Trembles Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid Isn't Solicitation a Crime? Solicitor General Theodore Olson: "The courts have no jurisdiction to evaluate or second-guess the conduct of the president and the military." Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 12:36:34 AM    comment []

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Cassandra Wanders Odds and Ends Rangel Misses An Opportunity Bush Changes The Subject The Republicans Piss Off the Wrong People Charlie Rangel, a helluva nice guy and a snappy dresser, smart as they come and yet... There he is on NightLine The Bushie who was on serves up a juicy softball, right over the plate, moving in SloMo, "Kerry slashed the intelligence budget..." Ted the Head goes to a commercial promising Charlie his turn in 90 seconds that's all the time in the world to spit on your hands, hitch your pants, cock the bat and get ready to swing for the bleachers And... And... Charlie bunts to the third baseman. (What's with the sports analogies all of a sudden?) Rangel said something along the lines of: "Long legislative career...complicated issues...Bush is changing the subject..." His response was so meaningless and fumphering our brains tuned out. So, the question is, how hard would it have been for Rangel to point out that in 1995 it was discovered that the National Reconnaisance Office (they're the guys with the satellites) had squirreled away $1 billion dolars of the funds they had been appropriated. They got the money because they said they needed to spend it, if they didn't spend it, but instead hid it away from the Pentagon and every oversite agency, they had asked for too much money. So, John Kerry introduced a bill to cut their future appropriations by $1 billion dollars. Bob Kerrey and Arlen Specter co-sponsored a similar bill. That's the "slashing" of the intelligence budget. And that's what Rangel should have said. ............................................................................................ Q: "Considering the reaction of a number of people, including families of 9/11 victims, wouldn't it make sense to remove the images of Ground Zero and the flag draped coffin from the President's ads?" A: "The President believes that the events were 9/11 were a defining moment in his presidency and that he has every right to talk about 9/11." Say What? Who the hell said "don't talk about 9/11?" We ought to talk about 9/11. Some people want to talk about Mr. Bush's leadership or his declaration of a "war on terrorism." Some people want to talk about what could or should have been done to prevent the attack Or where Mr. Bush was that day. Or why he is doing all he can to impede the 9/11 coommission. Or why he has broken his promises to fully fund police and firemen. All that should be talked about BUT... THAT WASN'T THE QUESTION! Why use the images of ground zero and a coffin filled with remains in your ads? Talk all you want about 9/11, but have some respect and keep your promise not to politicize this terrible thing. Take credit for what you've done take blame for what you failed to do And keep your ad agency away from ground zero! ............................................................................................. And speaking of those victims' families... Do the Bushies really want to start a fight with them? Many of those families are unhappy with the use of 9/11 images in Bush ads. Bush could have reacted by saying: "The terrible events of 9/11 are so important to us all that we have to discuss them in this election. But, I can see that the use of images of Ground Zero is painful to the families of those we have lost. And so, I have asked my re-election committee to remove those images from my advertisments." Boy, that would show class, and caring, and all sorts of other good things. Instead the Bush people tried to dismiss the complainers: They're a bunch of lefties. They're Kerry supporters. They were coached by Democrats. They were paid by Theresa Heinz. Some who complained were, in fact, Kerry backers. Some were undecided. Some were Bush supporters. And right now, one hell of a lot of them are pissed. No one likes to be dismissed or mischaracterized or accused of having secret motives. Some of these people were a bit unhappy with Bush before the ads were made. They felt that Bush was impeding the 9/11 commission. This didn't improve their moods. Are these really the enemies that Bush wants to have? Do the Republicans really want to see hundreds of 9/11 families staging a silent protest outside the convention in New York City next September? Ya gotta wonder... Is the Bush camp's sense of absolute entitlement, their belief in their own perpetual rightness their over-reaction to any disagreement... is all that gonna bite them in the ass? Cassandra is brought to you by The Republican National Committee   We'll get it right next time. 8:29:35 PM    comment []

Cassandra Applauds Racicot Makes It To Finals Comedy Segment of American Idol Marc Racicot, Chairman of Bush-Cheney 04,  brought down the house with his "High Dudgeon" act last night. Even normally unpleasable Simon Cowell was overcome by laughter, saying: "Look, funny is funny and this guy is great!" Using John Kerry's whispered "These guys are the most crooked, you know, lying group I've ever seen. It's scary," as a springboard, Racicot's feigned outrage was the hit of the evening. Racicot began with: "Senator Kerry's statement today in Illinois was unbecoming of a candidate for the presidency of the United States of America, and tonight we call on Senator Kerry to apologize to the American people for this negative attack." That brought howls from the audience, with none louder than Adam Clymer. Clymer then did an imitation of George Bush's famous line from the 2000 campaign.: "There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from The New York Times." Cowell couldn't resist taking the Cheney role. growling back "Oh, yeah, big time." But the two quickly quieted down when they realized that Racicot wasn't done, all this was only a build-up to his punchline: "On the day that Senator Kerry emerged as his party's presumptive nominee, the president called to congratulate him. That goodwill gesture has been met by attacks and false statements." The "goodwill" line caused the audience to erupt in a full two minutes of applause, foot-stomping and whistles of appreciation. Cassandra is brought to you by The Comedy Channel .  You'll laugh so hard you'll shit! 10:20:43 AM    comment []

Cassandra Predicts You Heard It Here First Shhhhhh, Don't Tell Bill! In late October expect to see William Safire announce that he's sitting this election out. He'll give his reasons that he can't vote for Bush, throw in a slam at Kerry, and sit on his thumbs. Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva .  Helps Break Up The Gas. 2:44:35 AM    comment []

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Cassandra Enjoys Fun Journalism Part 2 "Kerry voted against every major weapons system." How concise.    What an economy of words.    Now thats clear writing,  totally misleading,  but clear. You have to admit it's much less boring to read that line than to wade through all this stuff: In 1990 and in 1995 Kerry voted against two Defense Appropriations bills in order to send them back to committee to be rewritten.    They included, obviously,  a number of weapons systems  (although not "every major weapons system").   Before there ever was a vote,  Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney said:  "Congress has let me cancel a few programs. But you've squabbled and sometimes bickered and horse-traded and ended up forcing me to spend money on weapons that don't fill a vital need in these times of tight budgets and new requirements. … You've directed me to buy more M-1s, F-14s, and F-16s—all great systems … but we have enough of them." Oh that cutie pie Cheney.   He wanted the systems cancelled and he also gets to denounce Kerry for voting against them.   What a kidder! Cassandra is brought to you by ABC News   More Americans get their news from ABC than any other nationality. 9:22:11 PM    comment []

Cassandra Enjoys Fun Journalism Part 1 Thank God we live in an era of Fun Journalism For far too many years reporters weighed down their stories with facts and research and such foolishness as "Getting the story right." Where was the sense of fun? For example, here's a snappy, fun story: "Kerry has received more special interest money than anyone else in the Senate." It's quick, it's to the point it's fun! Old fashioned journalists would have bored the crap out of us, writing: "Kerry has received more special interest money from paid lobbyists than any other Senator. Of course, the vast majority of special interest money comes from PACs, not lobbyists, and Kerry doesn't accept PAC money, so he really comes in at number 92 out of 100 Senators." SHEESH! Talk about draining the life out of a story! Cassandra is brought to you by CNN   Your choice for news flavored entertainment. 5:57:36 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies Benchmarks Resetting The bar Republican Chairman Ed Gillespie predicts that the 2004 election may well become "the dirtiest campaign in modern presidential politics." When asked if this was a realistic assessment, Gillespie said: "It might take some doing, but we're confident we can swing it." Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews   We Distort, You Deride. 3:02:27 PM    comment []

Cassandra Suggests Statistics Are Our Friends Another Modest Proposal The Bush administration is missing a simple method to lower unemployment.   One in keeping with their floated plan to raise the number of manufacturing jobs by reclassifying fast food workers as being in the manufacturing sector. Unemployment numbers only measure those who are actively seeking work.    In practice, this is actually just the number of people currently receiveing unemployment insurance.   Once a worker's benefits expire he or she is no longer counted.  ( At least three quarters of a million people have been "disappeared" statistically.) Congressional Republicans are refusing to extend unemployment benefits to cover some of these long term unemployed.    If they go just one step further and cut the current benefit period in half they can eliminate a sufficient number of workers from the rolls of the unemployed to drive the unemployment rate down to around 2.8%.    That would be the lowest number in years                            Cassandra is brought to you by                                                            MSNBC.   In the news business you can get it first or you can get it right. MSNBC, We Get It First!