Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Cassandra Predicts This Part Is True Speaking Of The Log Cabin Republicans The LCR will be launching a campaign against the Defensive Marriage Amendment (yeah, yeah, we know the real name, so what?). They will avoid the issue of gay marriage and concentrate on the inadvisability of amending the Constitution. Honest.   Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , legal in most states. 11:15:42 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies With Just A Hint Of Truth God Caught Making Crank Calls Showtime in Langley Wronging States' Rights After prank calls to Pat Robertson and Governor Mike Huckabee were traced to God, the Deity explained   "Look, if you'd just gone through 6 months of listening to Mel Gibson speak for you, you'd want to blow off some steam too.  Anyway, you should have heard these guys, they bought this whole election prediction thing, hook, line and sinker.    I'll say this for Huckleberry, he didn't miss a beat.    But Robertson?   Whoo boy!    That one's as confused as a Log Cabin Republican." George Tenet's recent testimony before the Senate Intelligence Committee might have been more successful if the CIA Director hadn't appeared before them disguised as Big Jule from Guys and Dolls.    "Hell, I just love that show," Tenet explained. George Bush,  in backing the Defensive Marriage Amendment,  has reaffirmed the Supreme Court position, laid out in Bush v Gore,  that States' Rights are paramount unless of course they aren't.   Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva .  Ask you're doctor if it's right for you. 10:57:45 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies The Truth Is In My Other Suit "I can't even pronounce his name." Loretta Lynn When asked to comment on the contention that "the sole purpose of the Defensive Marriage Amendment is to deny one segment of society full rights," Marc Racicot, Chairman, Bush-Cheney ‘04 replied "That is patently false. The sole purpose of this amendment is to pander to our conservative base." He added: "I don't know why people are so worked up about an amendment.    Didn't we prove in Florida that the Constitution doesn't really matter?" Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , Regular or Extra-Crispy. 8:00:29 PM    comment []

Cassandra Preaches The TRUTH Knowing The Will Of God If God wanted gays to marry, why would he have made George Bush President? Oh, wait a second... That was Antonin Scalia. Our bad. Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , available online for 1/3 the news-stand price. 7:09:34 PM    comment []

Cassandra Opines Drop That Canard What Discrimination? Those who are quick to denounce the proposed Defensive Marriage Amendment to the Constitution as discriminatory are playing fast and loose with the truth. The amendment will prevent straights as well as gays from entering into same-sex marriages. " Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , with more fibre than any other brand. 6:45:22 PM    comment []

Cassandra Ponders Taking Guff From No Man Ducking The Issue When is some politician going to find the courage to finally ask the question : "Can we allow gays to marry lesbians?" Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , now in mint. 5:30:35 PM    comment []

Cassandra Explains The Truth Is In The Tasting Because, That's Why! Don't the supporters of same-sex marriage realize the damage that they're doing to the institution of marriage? If gays and lesbians are allowed to marry then, um...well...can we get back to you on this? Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , for those private moments. 2:51:21 PM    comment []

Cassandra Predicts The Truth Is In There Somewhere Now That's Leadership While the Democrats try to distract us with talk about the economy, jobs, trade, Iraq and terrorism, George Bush has had the courage to confront the central issue in this year's election: Same Sex Marriage! Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , Not Your Average Luncheon Meat! 2:24:55 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies The Truth Is Out Of Fashion Probably Not That Susan Estrich Susan Estrich has expressed concern that alternate life-styles not be an issue in the presidential campaign. Estrich (nee Steve), Spokesperson for the Conference of American Trans-Sexuals is reported by her life-partner Sean Hannity, to have said that "homosexuals, bisexuals, transexuals, sado-masochists, fetishists and transvestites should not be made whipping boys, unless, of course, that's what they're into." Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , the natural road to regularity. 12:46:14 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies The Truth Is Out Of Luck Fox Ignores Possible Murdoch-Drudge Secret Marriage Major News organizations may be looking into reports that, in a supposedly off-the-record conversation, Rush Limbaugh's drug source revealed to Limbaugh's maid that Matt Drudge is Rupert Maurdoch's sex-slave and has been since the two met in Ed Gillespie's hot tub in August of 1998.  This story is completely suspect and baseless.    Pass it on. Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva , Toyota's answer to the humdrum commute. 11:31:08 AM    comment []