Friday, February 27, 2004

Cassandra Respects Looking Back Cassandra Plays It Straight A brief interlude to point out a document worth reading (or rereading) Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva .  Shhhhhh, I'm reading. 8:13:00 PM    comment []

Cassandra Lies Corrections All Better From page B 27 of the Washington Post: Corrections In Michael Reynold's review of The Death Of Pity, Marshall Trusscott was inadvertently credited with the cinematography. The cinematographer was James Weber. In Justin Bell's review of Do Me Sideways/The Harps, the name of the bassist, Stephen Saunders, was misspelled. In Jim VandeHei's front page story Kerry Has Questions To Answer, it was Jeffrey Daumer who killed and ate a series of homeless, young men, not John Kerry. In the story on the opening of the new PayLess shoe store in Gaithersburg, the photo captions were reversed. Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva    We'll get it right next time! 2:06:51 PM    comment []

Cassandra Boggles Quel Fromage Kerry Looks French! Presidential Aspirations Doomed Writing in today's Washington Times R. Emmet Tyler Jr. revealed that John Kerry looks French. Mr. Jr is the Editor-in-Chief of the American Spectator. The news, coming in the wake of yesterday's revelation in the Washington Times that Kerry speaks French, was devastating. Susan Estrich, beloved icon of the Democratic Party, speaking through tears, said "I don't see how his candidacy can continue." In a series of journalistic coups, Mr. Jr:    Managed to work in the false rumor of a Kerry affair.    Repeated that Wesley Clark started the rumor (despite the minor detail that   we now know that he didn't).    Drove the final nail into Kerry's public life by ripping bare the fact that he has a cousin who is the mayor of a small town in FRANCE! And    Proved that there must have been an affair because Rupurt Murdoch's universally respected "Sun" quoted the father of the woman who denied there was an affair, as calling Kerry a "sleaze ball." Case closed. Pullitzer committee take note. In two related stories: Deviant Right Wing Sex Proved Evidence Undeniable Cassandra, in an in depth interview with ourselves, let slip that R. Emmet Tyler Jr. is a sleaze ball, thus proving conclusively the truth of the rumor that we just made up that he is having a threeway with Phyllis Schlafly and Sean Hannity. Conservative Editor has "Fruity" sounding name. Resignation Expected. It was discovered today that the name R. Emmet Tyler Jr. Sounds fruity. In the wake of this revelation Mr. Jr is being forced to step down as the editor of the American Spectator. Cassandra is brought to you by eXcilliva  100% non-French! 1:32:40 PM    comment []