Cassandra Predicts

Sun, 28 Mar 2004 07:16:31 GMT

Cassandra Asks

Knock knock

A Riddle

Q: How do you get Condi Rice to shut up?

A: Swear her in.

Cassandra is brought to you by
Bill Frist
specializing in high dudgeon and low farce.

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 17:32:29 GMT

White House retreat on 9/11 claims 1. By KENNETH R. BAZINET and THOMAS M. DeFRANK DAILY NEWS WASHINGTON BUREAU

WASHINGTON - A member of the 9/11 commission said yesterday that national security adviser
Condoleezza Rice indicated in a private session she was wrong to have once stated no
one expected terrorists to use planes as missiles.

The White House reportedly also backpedaled yesterday on whether President Bush pressed
counterterror czar Richard Clarke the day after the attacks to find evidence that Iraqi
dictator Saddam Hussein was involved.

There is also a conflict between Dr. Rice's statements placing blame for the intelligence
failures on Mr. Clarke while, at the same time, Vice President Cheney says that Clarke was
out of the loop.

Speaking for the White House, Scott McClellan admitted that when he previously had said
that "Mr. Clarke was playing fast and loose with the truth" that "I just kinda made that
one up."

Clarke, Rice and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld will all appear on talk shows tomorrow
to press their case.

Rice, who has refused to testify before the panel without conditions, explained that
while she would like to appear before the 9/11 commission in public and under oath, she
was advised by the White House council that perjury was illegal.

One issue was her May 16, 2002, statement at the White House when she said, "I don't think
anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the
World Trade Center . . . that they would try to use . . . a hijacked airplane as a missile." Intelligence reports had detailed such plans as much as five years before 9/11.

Richard Ben-Veniste, a member of the 9/11 panel, said that during a closed door session Rice
revised that statement.

"She corrected [herself] in our private interview by saying, 'I could not anticipate that they
would try to use an airplane as a missile,' but acknowledging that the intelligence community
could anticipate it," Ben-Veniste said.

"No reports of the use of airplanes as weapons were briefed or presented to Dr. Rice prior to
May 2002, or, if they were she never got around to reading them, or maybe she read them and
forgot or her attention wandered or she got a phone call in the middle and lost her place"
said her spokesman Sean McCormack.

Even some of Rice's associates as well as congressional Republicans think muzzling Rice is
a political blunder. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist said yesterday, speaking under the promise of anonymity "Personally, I think her voice is so good, so powerful if she came before the
9/11 commission publicly she could probably get away with whatever whoppers we were pushing
that day."

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 01:51:50 GMT

Cassandra Hosts
Guest Editorial

Adventures in Over-Writing

For some bizarre reason, the Bush Administration is determined to alienate the families of the victims of 9/11.

Already unhappy about the broken promises of increased funds for first responders, a great many of them were hurt by Bush-Cheney's use of images of Ground Zero and a casket of remains in campaign ads.

If that wasn't bad enough, the Bush people turned unhappiness to anger by dismissing the 9/11 families' objections, calling them "lefties" who were "coached by the Democrats."

A vast number of 9/11 families were powerfully moved by Richard Clarke's apology. Many openly wept as they said that this is what they had waited 2 ½ years to hear. More than one said that Clarke's words will help them heal. As the administration attacked Clarke, anger gave way to outrage and loathing.

And today Senate Majority Leader Frist denounced the apology, calling it "theatrical." This follows William Kristol's denunciation of the " pseudo-apology (that) has cheapened the public discourse." This is not what those families want to hear. If the Bush supporters want to change that loathing to white hot detestation, to implacable enmity, this is precisely the way to do it.

This September the Republicans will meet in New York City to celebrate Bush/Cheney O4. Do not be surprised if outside the hall, standing stock still in deafening silence, one thousand, three thousand, five thousand relatives of the victims of 9/11, their friends and supporters, form a tableau of irresistible reproach. Should this happen, the election will be over. The self-inflicted wound will have proved fatal.

Jonathan Swiller

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 01:01:27 GMT

Cassandra Wonders
Okay, Let's Look

A Sauced Goose

Bill Frist is leading the charge to declassify Richard Clarke's previous testimony in order to search for contradictions.
Dr. Frist makes ominous noises about perjury charges.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,
Condi Rice has decided to ask that she be allowed to amend her previous testimony.

Obviously, Senator Frist, non-partisan protector of the Republic,
will surely now ask that Dr. Rice's testimony should also be brought to light
and any moment now he will advise her that perjury is a serious crime.

or should we not hold our breaths?

Cassandra is brought to you by
Moral Relativism
The Truth Is Out Of Luck!

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 10:34:16 GMT

Cassandra Swoons
Her Mother, Her Sister, Her Mother, Her Sister.

Let's see If We've Got This Straight

Okiedoke, The White House had the right to waive Richard Clarke's confidentiality because he was speaking for the administration in the backgrounder in question.

and

as Scott McClellan points out,

Clarke has to explain the contradictions in what he told the 9/11 Commission and what he said in the backgrounder.

because,

as Scott McClellan further points out:
"This was Mr. Clarke describing what he knew in his own words. This was not anybody but Mr. Clarke making these comments.

Q But, Scott, in this administration when reporters go and ask you, other persons around here, we get the same words -- the same words come out. There's no variation or anything. Was he --

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, I think that's a sign that we're following the President's direction and his policies.

Q You're following talking points, correct?

MR. McCLELLAN: No. Again, you need to separate out some of this. This was Mr. Clarke, on his own, making these comments back in the spring of 2002. This was him in his own words."

So, since this was Clarke, "on his own...in his own words" how the hell does the White House get to give Fox permission to break confidentiality?

Cassandra is brought to you by
Situational Ethics
Play along at home

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 08:15:40 GMT

Cassandra Affirms
Weird Priorities

Le Coup D'Etat, C'est Moi!

Cassandra understands why the Bushies are so pissed at Richard Clarke

He somehow thinks that the oath of office he took was to the Constitution rather than to the Bush Family.

Former Navy Secretary John Lehmann knows which side his flag is buttered on.
He didn't even try to make a pretense when he quoted from a transcript slipped to him by Fox to be used in trashing Clarke.

In defense of party he'd bravely sacrifice his last country.

Cassandra is brought to you by
Patriotism Lite
A Bush Family Enterprise

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 07:36:17 GMT

Cassandra Ain't Talking
Fox Burns A Source

Fox not only makes up news,
now they're making up rules too.

Fox has come up with a novel release clause to journalism's unbreakable rule against burning a source:

The White House gave them permission.

It works this way:
They promise the source
(in this example Richard Clarke)
anonymity,
so that he will talk to them on background.

Then later,
when what he says pisses off his former employer
the Bush White House,
Fox gets permission from that very same employer
to out its source.

Neat huh?

Obviously, other, more professional news orgaizations aren't going to accept such a flagrant debasement of journalistic ethics.

Except maybe CNN,
which took the story and ran with it.

But the rest of the press was so irate and disgusted,
they were shocked into silence
for days
(maybe longer).

Where is the outrage?
Where is the indignation?
With the weapons of mass destruction maybe?
(you know, those thing that we went to war over, whose non-existence George Bush and Washington Press Corps find so funny.)

Okiedokie, potential whistleblowers make note:

Fox burns sources
CNN goes along

The rest of the press find nothing wrong with it.
So,
keep your mouth shut!

Cassandra is brought to you by
Journalistic Ethics
One of the truly great oxymorons.

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 06:54:51 GMT

Cassandra Predicts
Anybody Need A Term Paper Subject?

Flip Flop?

Cassandra has a research project to offer.

We'd do it ourselves, but why not share the fun?

Go back to the news reports just after Clinton bombed Al Qaeda sites in the '90s.

Make a list of the Republicans who denounced the then President for "wagging the dog,"
that is to say,
staging a military action to distract attention from his very domestic problems.

Now, make a list of those Republicans who denouncing Clinton for not taking more military action against Al Qaeda.

For every name you find on both lists we'll give you a lollipop.

Honest

Cassandra is brought to you by
Journalistic Ethics
For sale cheap. Hardly used.

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 00:19:00 GMT

Cassandra Is Reassured
Your Government At Work

Considering the possibility of studying the feasability of undertaking a review.

MR. McCLELLAN (White House Spokesman): Well, Mike, I think that we did take steps to change some of the ideas that had been discussed in the previous administration. In fact, Mr. Clarke has stated such in his comments that have now been released in a transcript by a news station. He made that very clear, that we were -- immediately upon coming into office, this President directed the administration to provide -- or to pursue a comprehensive strategy to eliminate al Qaeda, not roll it back. And that process began very early on. But at the same time, this administration began looking at some of the ideas that had been discussed, but not decided on in the previous administration, and worked to come to some decisions on those ideas and begin changing policy.

Let's see:
They took steps to change ideas that had been discussed
and
They began looking at some of the ideas that had been discussed, but not decided on in the previous administration, and worked to come to some decisions on those ideas and begin changing policy

And Richard Clarke dared to say they weren't doing anything.

Cassandra is brought to you by
ACTIVE VERBS
Your "Go Gettum" part of speech!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 21:25:32 GMT

Cassandra Vomits
We Distort, You Deride

Fear and Malice

Fox news slipped a transcript of a background briefing with Richard Clarke to Republican members of the 9/11 Commission.
Shortly thereafter Fox began playing a tape of the briefing.

Fox slipped a transcript of a 2002 briefing by Clarke on background to Republican members of the 9/11 Commission.

They said the tape, in which Clarke was a representative of the Bush Administration putting forward that administration's position contradicts what he says now.

They explain that since Clarke was representing the Administration and the White House released Fox from "Background" constraints they were free to play it (without asking Clarke).

Aside from the ethics (or lack thereof) of burning a source, there is the question of how clean it is to slip it to one side for purely partisan reasons?

Cassandra is brought to you by
FoxNews
Party Before Patriotism!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 06:27:46 GMT

Cassandra Wonders
Who's In Charge Here?

We don't know what we don't know, but we've got an idea as to who doesn't want us to know it

Tom Kean, Chairman of the 9/11 Commission, has been told that there are certain questions that he may not ask.

A commission to investigate the treatment of the Commission anyone?

Cassandra is brought to you by
The White House
Don't Ask. Don't Tell.

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 06:21:59 GMT

Cassandra Stares Slack Jawed
Say What?

He Wasn't?

Let's put aside for a moment what most of the White House mugger-flackers are saying about Richard Clarke:
"If Al Qaeda was being overlooked, the one to blame was Clarke.
After all, he was the Anti-Terrorism Czar."

Which would be a slightly more persuasive argument if Cheney wasn't saying,
at the very same time,
that Mr Clarke "was out of the loop."

(Can't they get their character attacks straight?)

BUT THAT'S NOT THE BIG STORY OF THE DAY!

Nope.

Everybody missed the big story,
so here it is,
right from Scott McClellan's daily press briefing:

Q: Scott, this morning, you said the President didn't recall the conversation in the Situation Room on September 12th that Mr. Clarke said he had, where the President asked Dick Clarke three times to pursue links between 9/11 and Iraq. And you said he doesn't -- I had two questions. So did the President tell you or somebody in the White House over the weekend, he doesn't recall?

MR. McCLELLAN: Yes, I talked to him. He doesn't recall that conversation or meeting.

Q: And that was -- he said it this morning, or this weekend? When did he say that?

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, this weekend and this morning, yes.

Q: Okay. And secondly, Clarke now says that he has three eyewitnesses, and he repeated it again this morning, and he named them -- to the conversation.

MR. McCLELLAN: Let's just step backwards -- regardless, regardless, put that aside. There's no record of the President being in the Situation Room on that day that it was alleged to have happened, on the day of September the 12th. When the President is in the Situation Room, we keep track of that. But put all that aside, let's go to the heart of the matter. This was supposedly the day after the September 11th attacks. And, of course, you want to look at all possibilities of who might be responsible. It would be irresponsible not to consider all responsibilities.

Did you see it as it flashed by?

Here it is again in slo-mo

"MR. McCLELLAN: Let's just step backwards -- regardless, regardless, put that aside. There's no record of the President being in the Situation Room on that day that it was alleged to have happened, on the day of September the 12th."

The Situation Room of the White House is focal point of all the heavy duty military and intelligence action.
(Hell, you've watched the West Wing.)

And on the day after 9/11,
Bush didn't go down there once!

HUH?

Cassandra is brought to you by
Real Life
Now it's gonna get interesting.

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 19:13:18 GMT

Cassandra Nods
"Nod, nod, smile, nod"

Attention Non-Existence Disorder

One of the slams on George Bush is that he isn't a hard worker.

This is easily disproved.

Just watch him listen to someone else speaking

No one works as hard at trying to maintain at least the appearance of paying attention. The remarks by Irish Prime Ahern are a prime example

(watch as the fingers on Bush's left hand begin to dance).

Press "view" at this site.

Cassandra is brought to you by
JOLT!
Twice the caffeine!

Sun, 21 Mar 2004 08:51:14 GMT

Cassandra Assumes
You Mean It Isn't All Clinton's Fault?

What Condi Won't Say In Public

The short version:

Clinton's national security team put in place a a policy focused on countering terror in general and Al Qaeda in particular.

When the Bush team came in, even before Ari Fleischer was putting out the false story of the trashed White House
Berger, Holbrook and others from Clinton's NSC were briefing Condoleezza Rice on their belief that continuing, even heightening the campaign against Al Qaeda.

This is something the 9/11 Commission wants to talk to her about and it's the major reason she refuses to testify publicly.

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 21:18:20 GMT

Cassandra Apologizes
Vindication

Misunderestimated Truthlike Story Revelations

According to sources within Cassandra's head, the White House will reveal tomorrow that there is substantive proof of something in someway related to the underpinnings of the explanation as to why we were forced to go to war with Iraq.

The CIA has just finished translating a document found in the rubble of a podiatrist's office in Tikrit.

We have had a brief glance at the document entitled:

"Weapons of Mass Destruction-Related Program Activities Scenario Planning Projection Forecast Report"

Much of the report consists of full color reproductions of the Flash Gordon comic strip, with hand-written comments by Saddam Hussein in the margins: ("got it," "got it," "need it," "gornischt helfen!" "got it")

Inexplicably the report also contains proof of George Bush's National Guard service in Alabama and a photograph of John Kerry making out with Jane Fonda.

Cassandra is brought to you by WalMart Disrupting Communities, Nationwide.

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 02:33:29 GMT

Cassandra Joins
Are You Willing?

You Too Can Be A Nation!

Ever want to be a nation?

We can make you into one.

Just sign on to the

Coalition Of The Willing

(it's just like the Justice League)

promise to donate something to the cause

(don't worry, that's just a formality, we'll pay you back)

and your in!

You'll even get this lovely Certificate of Recognition:

Cassandra is brought to you by Axis of Evil Formerly SPECTR.

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 23:58:33 GMT

Cassandra Seethes
Toss The Bum In Prison

Cheney: "I invented the oubliette."

A new Bush ad tells us that John Kerry voted against "body armor for our troops in combat."

We then hear the clerk of the Senate call "Mr. Kerry." followed by a curt: "no."

We think that's just awful of Kerry!

So awful, we had to see for ourselves.

Oddly enough, we couldn't find a bill on body armor.

There was one for billions and billions of dollars for all sorts of different things
including $300 million for body armor,
but obviously that isn't the one that Bush and Cheney mean

(that would be ridiculously misleading).

So what happened to the Body Armor Bill?

IT'S NOT THERE!

There's only one explanation
(It's the same reason we weren't safe from terrorists, have a lousy economy
and are plagued by sex mad homosexuals who want to get married)

Bill Clinton!

Clinton must have hacked the Senate's computer files.

Is there no end to these people's crimes?

Cassandra is brought to you by

FoxNews

"If they're on the left, how can they be right?"

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:11:15 GMT

Cassandra Pries
Cheney Fight For Openess

What Privacy?

It seems that John Kerry had a private conversation in which he referred to hearing that some World leaders were hoping that he'd win the election.

That much got leaked.

The Republicans demanded to know which World leaders Kerry meant.

Kerry said that he wouldn't reveal private conversations.

In reaction Vice President Dick Cheney said Americans deserved to know.

Apparently this right of the American people to be privy to all details of partially leaked conversations that were intended to be private doesn't extend to knowing anything about Cheney's conference with oil company executives that led to the formation of a national energy policy.

That sounds about right

Cassandra is brought to you by Halliburton Trust Us!.

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 04:37:44 GMT

Cassandra Hides
You call that mean?

The good old days

We keep hearing that this will be the meanest campaign ever.

But will it?

There's some stiff competition for that title.

Aren't we overlooking the election of 1800, when Thomas Jefferson said of John Adams:

"The man is a vile liar, a thief of the first water a whore monger and a pedarast!"

Or, what about 1860, when Abraham Lincoln sent squads of thugs to beat up likely Douglas voters?

And doesn't this election pale when compared to 1956. That was the year that Adlai Stevenson kidnapped

Dwight Eisenhower's grandson David and threatened to sell him to the French if Ike didn't concede the election.

Nope, when it comes to truly filthy election tactics, these guys are pikers.

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews If it's been on Drudge, it's fact!

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 02:10:07 GMT

Cassandra Vibrates
ESP at the NYT

Giving Offense

John Kerry denounced "the most crooked, you know, lying group I've ever seen."

When asked whom he meant, he said: "I was speaking of the vicious G.O.P. attack machine."

But William Safire knows better. In his column in the N.Y.Times he tells us (repeatedly) that Kerry was actually referring to "tens of millions of American voters, including even veterans."

While Mr. Safire's psychic abilities are legendary, I have to differ with him this time.

Mr. Kerry was speaking of grandmothers, widows, orphans and puppy dogs."

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews Truth, custom made.

Mon, 15 Mar 2004 23:27:02 GMT

Cassandra Cringes
That Bad, Bad Liberal

The President wouldn't lie.

In his hardest hitting ad so far, George Bush has denounced John Kerry for voting to kill puppies, expressing hatred for mothers and planning to raise taxes a "million-billion-gazillion dollars."

The subject was raised at the White House press briefing.

Q: What proof is there behind the charges in the President's new ad?

McClellan: I refer you to my previous comment on this.

Q: But your previous comment was that you would have an answer at this press conference.

McClellan: And I stand by that.

Q: Stand by what?

McClellan: I stand by my previous comment.

Q: Then give us the answer?

McClellan: I did give you the answer.

Q: What was the answer?

McClellan: That I refer you to my previous answer.

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews Creativity in journalism.

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 21:27:49 GMT

Cassandra Checks
Kerry Exposed!

Facts Don't Lie
You could look it up.

Using his weekly radio address, George Bush made his hardest hitting attack on John Kerry yet, quoting the Senator saying:

"I am against America and in favor of her worst enemies"

Mark Racicot has distributed documentation backing up this accusation:

"I am against¹... America²... and in favor³... of⁴... her worst enemies^5"

¹Senate speech on sale of Federal lands, 8/6/94
²Debate, Iowa, 1/5/04
³Comments in Committee on Renewable Resources 12/11/99
⁴Victory speech, New Hampshire, 1/27/04
⁵Winter Soldier Investigation, Detroit, MI. 1/31/71

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews

Made up fresh daily.

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 07:56:08 GMT

Cassandra Asks
Your Turn

We Really Want To Know!

It is widely believed that George Bush will honor that great American tradition: the October Surprise.

The question is: What will it be?

Obviously, a few of you will say: "But Cassandra, that would spoil the surprise!"

Point taken.

None-the-less (and never-the-more), we really, really, really wanna know!

So, here's your chance to be a junior oracle:

Cassandra's Guess the October Surprise Contest

Will it be Osama delivered wrapped in bows?
No taxes for anyone?
War with France?
Suspension of the Constitution?

You tell us.

Then come October we'll have a winner.
And, honest, there'll be a damned fine prize!

Put your answer in the comment box or send an email to ppp@frontiernet.net.
(And let us know if we can use your name.)

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews God's Channel!

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 04:07:48 GMT

Cassandra Berates
Cowards and Ten-Year-Olds

Grow Up and Speak Up!

Throughout the country there are two parties, the Republican Party and The Democratic Part.
However in D.C. that second one is the "Democrat" Party.

That's because the Republicans, acting like 4th grade bullies, think it's really neat to get the other guy's name wrong.

The Dems don't say anything for fear of looking like whiners.

Have the Democrats considered the simple idea of waiting for the next time the word is trotted during a joint appearance with a Republican on Meet The Press, Nightline or whatever and replying:

"Why should the American people listen to you? You're so (ignorant/ out of touch / dumb / brain damaged from tertiary syphilis) that you don't know the name of one of the two American political parties?"

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews We Do News Gud.

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 01:53:08 GMT

Cassandra Hosts
Guest Poet

Cassandra invites rebuttal doggeral from responsible versifiers.

Watching telly home in Britain
A lonely druid was most smitten

A professor of anatomy
The love he felt just had to be

So moved was our carin' pagan
He sought the help of Daryn Kagan

I adore the lass who does the weather
We must spend our lives together

Every fiber I possess
loves this meteorologess

My pulsing brain, my throbbing heart
mourn the fact that we're apart

'Life with her would be so grand'
shouts my sad pineal gland

My spleen trembles, my lungs burn
Emotion makes my stomach churn

Dear Ms Kagan, lovely anchoress
Help me now, before my pancreas

Dies from a need, so large, tremendous
It overwhelms my poor appendix

My steaming blood, my boiling kidney
every organ loves Orleon Sidney

jonathan swiller

Cassandra is brought to you by FoxNews Dumb as dirt!