The Order, and Things that Make You Go Hmmmmmmm
First things first. Today is Order Day. I have to be sure I have every customer entered into my Avon e-rep site, and then press the "Complete Order" button before noon. This won't take long. It wasn't a stellar campaign.
My e-rep site is hosted at youravon.com. This is where Avon reps all over the country enter their secret password and congregate to talk beauty, customers, procedures, and tips. It's a real den of iniquity. I'm surprised at the number of bitchy comments I read.
Every e-rep gets their very own Avon site. You can give customers your web address and they can order online. I finally set mine up a week or so ago. You aren't given many content choices, and a few clicks later, it's complete and ready for the world. Avon wants these rep sites to have the same corporate look and feel, so the only personalized options are your rep photo, name, and contact information. The rest is pure vintage Avon.
I took a photo with my webcam for my e-rep site. I look like Celine Dion with intellectual burgundy glasses and a few (ok more than a few) extra pounds. My hand is resting on the computer mouse and I'm grinning wildly at the camera, like I won the Avon lottery. It's not exactly a glamour shot. You can see a floor lamp standing behind me, but the poor lighting and cluttered room make it seem as though a golden cigar-shaped UFO is floating over my head.
A couple of days ago another rep in my district called me for assistance.
"Hi Birdie! It's Lindy Bowers. Sherry told me I should call you for help on my e-rep site."
I remembered Lindy from the sales meeting. She has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. It falls to her waist, long and thick and golden. Rapunzel hair. It frames a beautiful and kind face. Lindy is one of the top three reps in the entire district. She sold many tens of thousands of dollars of Avon stuff last year.
She told me that the e-rep options were new to Avon, and most of the older women were lost and confused. Until I spoke at the sales meeting, no one had good things to say about cultivating an online business. Lindy's voice was soft and even like her appearance. She explained that her biggest problem was trying to upload her photograph. It just wouldn't take.
"Come on over and I'll show you how to do it. Just bring a CD with your photo."
The next day Lindy arrived. She was as charming and sweet and modest as I remembered. She talked about her years as an Avon rep and how fast things were changing with the internet. She doesn't want to be left in the dust. As she chatted, I opened her seven photograph files. They were incredible, professional, sexy, and glamorous as hell. She stood with her back to a brick wall, long hair curvy and wild, her eyes making love to the camera. Wow.
I opened my own e-rep site to show her how to upload photos. Lindy looked at my photo and then at me.
"Hey! You look just like Celine Dion!"
I rolled my eyes.
I uploaded her sexiest shot to my site. For a brief, exciting moment, Birdie the Avon Lady was hot, Western, sensual.
Lindy thanked me for the help. We talked about selling Avon. She gave me some great ideas in exchange for my assistance.
Last night I got a call from a new customer.
"Hello, is this Birdie? I got your name and website from Avon. I want to order a few things."
The woman rattled off a list of products and gave me her local address. I explained that I would have them delivered this Thursday.
"Thank you! I just moved from Phoenix and I miss my Avon rep. I picked you because you look so lovely, like you know just what you're doing."
Really??? I couldn't believe it! I smiled at the mirror before bed and winked at myself. I may be a dorky plump Celine Dion but some lady from Phoenix thinks I'm hot stuff!
This morning I clicked on my e-rep site to switch from Campaign 10 to Campaign 11. Ah. That explains it. Lindy Bower's sultry eyes carressed me from the screen. Crap. I forgot to change it back to my own pitiful shot.
6:29:59 AM 
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