I held an Avon Makeover Prom Beauty Bash late Saturday morning. This was an equal opportunity event. Three girls and three boys brought dresses, tuxedos, flowers, hair gel and nervous energy to my home. It was my idea, and I couldn't believe 16 agreed and called his posse. He's a bit of a dandy.
The day before was sheer madness. The three couples reserved a limo many weeks ago, but in the booking hell of prom season, the limo company overscheduled and left a sheepish text message on 16's cell that the kids were out of luck.
"I'll drive, honey." I smiled and held out my arms for a hug.
My son turned his head and glared at me through one falcon eye.
You can't cross that bridge between old and young, not when you're the old fart with the minivan. I didn't attempt to reason with him. Instead, I grabbed the phone.
Just try finding a cool car the afternoon before prom. Not in this town, in this image conscious state. But the dance gods were with me, and six hours and endless calls later, I procured a car from the Four Seasons concierge, an executive SUV with a sun roof and high end sound system and leather seats, all badass black and chrome. And then I called one of my best friends, a tall and gnarly Turkish man with wild eyebrows and perpetual 5 o'clock shadow. He looks like a balding Nicolas Cage.
"Hey, I need a huge huge huge favor! I need you to pretend you're a limo driver and that you don't know me and wear a tux and a hat and dark glasses and drive six kids around tomorrow night for prom. Pleeeeeaassseee????? Pretty pleeeeaasseee????"
I held my breath and waited. I've made some outrageous requests in the past, but this one topped them all.
"Yeah, sure. Why not."
Wooo hooo!!! I told 16 that I had him covered and thanked the stars above that not only did I solve the problem but that I would get a full report on all prom night shenanigans. It was a mother's dream solution.
(to be continued in the morning, 'cause I'm super duper tired and little 7 was heck on wheels all day...)
My oldest son is 16 years old. He's a junior at the High School, and he wants to be a scientist one day, to study tiny particles and strange waves and charms and discover the true nature of the universe. I think he'll be a writer. I've never told him this. His words leap out of the pages of his essays and into your mind where they rattle around, unsettle you, make you wish you didn't read his work. His English teacher doesn't get it. She wants him to write like everyone else. He has a solid B- in English but I think he deserves an A.
He carries his own cell phone, like all of his peers. They breathe through those phones, making plans, feeling for gossip, and asserting dominance in vocal rituals like every other species of animal.
The past two months were filled with endless calls about the prom. I'd hear him sneak outside, phone in hand, watch him walk down the cul-de-sac so his voice wouldn't carry to my ears, see him gesture to invisible people. I like watching him. He's tall and beautiful, a dancer, with eyes like his father and my father's gait. I love it, love that he thinks I don't know what he's saying or thinking, but I was 16 once, too. Life is so much more mysterious then, and every cell in your body vibrates with passion.
His school doesn't allow same-sex couples to attend dances. The school sits next to the Church of Latter Day Saints, and every morning a hundred kids congregate in a circle and hold hands, praying for guidance and God's love through Jesus during their school day. My son and his friends belong to a different circle, the arts people, and they buy fancy coffee in styrofoam cups and sit on the wall in the morning, out of sight of the faithful.
He's a straighforward kid. The kind of person who follows rules and keeps in mind what others might be thinking. He doesn't buck the system. I would have been thrilled to stage a protest against the school dance rule, and carry hand-lettered signs in the parking lot and pass out petitions and buttons, call the school board and newspapers. But 16 wanted no part of it. He wanted to go to the prom and he wanted to follow the rules. He decided to go out with a girl, a petite Latina voted "Miss Our Town Name" during the homecoming parade last fall. She asked him to the prom, as did several other girls. I wasn't surprised. He's a charmer, sensitive and gallant. A good gay boyfriend date.
I signed up to participate in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Los Angeles. I'll post more when I figure what the heck it is and what I am to do.
Birdie's Formal Review of Avon Beyond Color Plumping Lip Conditioner with Retinol SPF 15
The tagline for Avon's Beyond Color collection is "Makeup Enriched With The Advantage Of Skin Care." The theory here is that these makeup products will not only give you a glowing, colorful new look, but they will shrink your pores, smooth your skin, and take years off your age. Currently Avon offers several products in the Beyond Color line: lipsticks and lip liners, colored mascaras, concealer, and a rainbow of anti-aging cream eyeshadows.
I've been using the Beyond Color Plumping Lip Conditioner with Retinol for two weeks. Avon promises 35% fuller lips and reduced lip lines, but the promo literature doesn't specify how long you need to use this product to see such incredible results and whether the results are permanent.
As usual, I'm going to be frank. My lips are neither thin nor lusciously plump. I never use a lip liner - I know, I should - and until becoming an Avon rep I rarely wore lipstick at all. I'm more of a gloss and chapstick sort of girl. I'm not sure I want bee-stung lips like Courtney Love or Meg Ryan.
The Plumping Lip Conditioner comes in an elegant cream-colored case with shiny silver accents. The Plumping Lipsticks come in a similar case. They have a substantial feel. When you pick one up, it feels rich, expensive, and high class, like a lipstick you'd buy at a department store beauty counter. The regular price is eight bucks a pop, but sometimes Avon runs a special. The campaign before last you could mix or match two different colors or a color and the condition for $9.99.
I decided to begin with the Plumping Lip Conditioner. You can wear this alone or under lipstick. The conditioner is applied just like lipstick. It looks like a lipstick too, a pale, shiny off-white lipstick with no detectable odor. I applied it over naked lips. The first application I stood still for a moment to feel any strange vibrations or tingling as some customers have reported. But it felt like lipstick, smooth and creamy, a bit sticky to the touch.
If you wear the Plumping Lip Conditioner alone, it's invisible, like using a lip balm. Your lips look smoother and richer, due to the high moisture content in the conditioner. This effect is not lasting. Once the conditioner wears off, your lips look less hydrated.
I tried applying a variety of different lipsticks and glosses on top of the Plumping Lip Conditioner over the past two weeks. I had good success with some, and some sorry messes with others. Some Avon lipsticks and glosses will clump a bit on top of the conditioner, leaving streaky blotches. Other lipsticks, most notably the Beyond Color lipstick series and the Avon beComing line, glide on effortlessly and look fabulous.
It's hard to say exactly how much plumper my lips became during use. It certainly wasn't 35%, more like ten or twenty percent, tops. The effect seems to wear off by the time the lipstick is removed or wears off during the day. But when you first apply the product and for a few hours afterward, you have Hollywood lips! Watch out Angelina Jolie!
Since the Plumping Lip Conditioner contains retinol, I am guessing that given some time, more of these small effects will be more permanent. I will continue to use the Beyond Color products and will continue to report my experiences.
Edited to add that out of ten stars, I would give this product a 5. It wasn't terrible, just terribly mediocre.
I have so many things to write! The prom was a great success, and the beauty makeover bash was weird and fun!
This morning my youngest, 7, has a dental appointment. He needs a baby molar pulled because a grown-up tooth is growing to the side of it and abcessed the roots. Poor 7!
I hope to write up all my adventures this afternoon while 7 is resting and watching The Music Man (his fave DVD).
