I'm so tired. I spent two days at the Avon Home for the Holidays show, and now all I want to do is sleep. But I can't sleep. I just fed my kids cold cereal for dinner and I have to wash their clothes, call my regular customers, and finish tallying my Campaign 15 order which is due tomorrow by noon. I shouldn't be here typing this, but I'm disoriented and cranky and stark navy blue and I don't want to have another night of Avon dreams.
My mood makes it sound as if the conference was horrendous and boring but it wasn't. It wasn't! Over four thousand Avon Ladies and maybe a hundred Avon Men strolled through the Anaheim Convention Center, high on coffee and fatty lemon muffins, grabbing samples of the new Bust-Sculpt Contouring Creme and the Anew Clinical Deep Crease Concentrate. I should be telling you tonight about the crazy smelly perfume "Sensorium" where young lithe ladies with long flowing locks and sheer dresses tossed small silk flowers upon us as we walked under the camel tent and stuffed samples in our purses. I should tell you about the hired beefcake in NASCAR boxers and how he grabbed me tight around my waist and told me my camera was cute. I should tell you about the smell of the new Today perfume, coming to a television advertisement near you starring Salma Hayek taking a shower. I should tell you about the motivational seminar where I elbowed a blue-haired Avon Lady I know and pointed to Andrea Jung, CEO extraordinaire, and made a bet that I would run up and get my photo taken with her. I should tell you these smells and textures and tastes and dippy moments.
But I'm sitting here eating a bowl of cold cereal and feeling confused and miserable and my feet hurt from the high heels and my dog is glaring at me because I refuse to walk her around the block, and my orders aren't totalled. And I'm wondering, just wondering, what the heck I'm doing, being an Avon Lady, parading around in lipstick and blush three inches off the floor and getting my picture taken with half-naked men, listening to corporate smooth-talkers tell me how to make dreams and goals and God-blessed money. This isn't me! It's not! I'm not like this! Please hear me!
I sat in that ballroom with those four thousand ladies, and danced to the Village People and Jennifer Lopez and clapped and whooped when they showed new Avon commercials and a new Men's Brochure and an endless parade of beauty and fluff, all doused in disco lights and smog and Aretha Franklin. I sat in that ballroom and took notes and applauded and watched the young married couple to my right smile and jump up when the speaker quoted scripture, when the regional manager yelled "My blood type is A-V-O-N!" I tried to be a part of this, I really tried.
I talked to the movers and shakers of Avon, got in their face, put my hand tape-recorder under their chins, got quotes and conviction and a million ideas, no - two million ideas - for recruiting representatives, growing a Real Avon Business, and I sat back in my blue fabric seat, more confused than ever, or maybe not confused at all for the first time, because something clicked in my short haired head. I can't be me if I'm going to do this business, and do it the way they like. I can't be me. I met the ones who are making the bucks. And I met the ones who are not. I have to step out of this body and let some other Birdie, Professional Person, step inside and start handing out brochures and hope and day planner thoughts.
I drove home thinking about these things, about the people making zillions of Avon dollars through sales and networking, and the people who aren't, and I felt like my mind was splitting in half. I'm a mom, I'm a thinker, I'm introspective, I'm quiet, I'm a dancer, I'm a musician, I'm good with animals and baking and telling ghost stories and everything fun and gentle and achingly unimportant. I'm limping along with this Avon business. I'm not a rocket girl with a jet pack like Salma Hayek's smile. I'm not a rocket girl. I don't have those kinds of dreams.
The Dream Man who stood on stage and told us to write down our biggest dream made us repeat positive affirmations and yell how excited we were to be a part of Avon. I wrote my big dream, but I didn't share it with anyone. It wasn't a motor home or financial freedom or a hill top mansion with a butler and a pool. It was just something stupid, just two weeks backpacking through Thailand and a ride on an elephant, and I know I'll get there one way or another, through Avon or whatever I think up next.
I keep thinking about that dream man and the successful and beautiful of Avon and how everyone's always dreaming, always putting their goals on paper, never satisfied, always reaching up up up, like their arms are tethered to inifinite balloons. Maybe being happy is all these people aspire to be, being happy like me. It's like my Gramma always said, those days when I was angry or down or frustrated because I didn't have what other people had.
Here is the list of suggestions received for the contest. I'm beginning tomorrow, once my order for Campaign 15 has been submitted! The contest ends the moment I submit Campaign 16 online! The person whose suggestion generates the most sales wins the swag. Most of these I will need to start tomorrow, to allow a fair playing field, so expect a report of my travels through beach hotels and doctor offices and Lord Knows What Else.
Danielle: Why don't you give the purses to those who place the largest order each campaign, or if they place an order $25 over their last order?
Poppy: A few ideas: Contact your local Welcome Wagon representative and ask if you can leave a brochure (and a sample) in each Welcome basket. Leave brochures at the local RV Park and the local car wash. Have Birdie's Bonus Draw each month for all your customers - winner gets a small Avon prize package. (Or you could have a draw for all your new customers. Or for customers who order more than $xx.xx worth of product each month.)
Gwen: Christmas in July:My gift to you is pay no Tax
Order with in the next 48 hours and receive a free gift.
Tell 3 friends about me, if they order, you all pay NO TAX with this current order.
Ask someone you know to take the book to work, the more orders they get you, they pay NO TAXES on their personal order.
SMILE:buy one SMILE product and receive a "dollar off" gift card towards your next order
all these ideas to printed on labels and put on the FRONT of each brochure.The more deals you give NOW, will pay off later.
Margie: How about dropping off brochures in doctors (OB/GYN)and dentist waiting rooms - that's when I've ordered Avon a couple of times.
Jacqueline: Birdie, sign up "Helpers". Here's how I'm doing it: Get some neon labels and print them up to read: Ask me how to get 20% OFF all your future Avon orders! Birdie XXX-XXX-XXXX
When they call, ask them if they will sign up to be an Avon Helper. They collect orders from their friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, church members, kids' friends' parents, etc. and input them on your eRep site every two weeks. As long as their order totals $50 or more, you give them 20% off, so they get a discount on their own order and a small commission on the orders of their friends. They're responsible for collecting payments and making deliveries to their customers. All you do every week is deliver their order and books/supplies for the next campaign and collect payment from them.
Deb: How about leaving a few catalogs in those places that do your nails? There are always a couple in the places I use and I flip through them regularly. (I didn't order from them because at the time a good friend was selling Avon). And now I have your page marked for when I do need something. Preferably in blue! :)
alyssa: place a sign in the back of your car window: "need avon? call me. 555-5555"
slide brochures under the windshield of all the cars at your local mall/supermarket. or, better, on the cars that come to the beach every day. when you're sticky and sunburned, you want something that makes you feel pretty.
go to all those beachfront hotels in the dead of night so hotel staff won't see you; slide brochures underneath the doors of the guest rooms.
wait till halloween (which gives me no winnings under this contest) and give each trick or treater candy AND an avon brochure. ask your friends to do the same at their houses.
and camping stores in your area? bring brochures, talk to manager about skin so soft, and ask if you can leave brochures with a sticker on top that mentions the product. not to sound sexist, but it's mostly guys who go there. they should be lured to give products to their wives. AND, are there camp grounds in your area? bring some there, too.
Connie: No clue how expensive this is -- buy ad space on the back of church bulletins. Also take advantage of free community bulletin boards at the grocery store, the Y locker room, etc., put up as big a posting as they'll let you, do it in color to stand out, perhaps stating to contact you for free samples and put on tear-away tabs with your name and number.
Kelly: I know I'm late, but here's a thought. I know our hospital has gift baskets for all the new moms, filled with little gifts and information from local businesses. You could put in a lotion sample and a flyer. Something for their feet, since they haven't seen them in a few months.
Have a 13 Hour sale. send out cards or flyers to all your customers with the date and times. If they call in and place an order they get so much of a discount or something. Then their name could be put in a drawing for a larger prize OR you could pick a random call every hour to get a free gift. You could have incentives for people that refer you to a friend.
Heather: Go to your local beauty salons and ask if you can leave avon brochures on the counter and near the magazines. Go to any large retail store like Walmart, Kmart, or Target and browse the beauty supply isles, handing out avon brochures to beauty shoppers. Go to the nearest beach and give brochures to all of the bathing beauties along with any sun proctection or beachy type samples you have. Throw an Saturday Avon Calling Party in your front yard! Print up flyers advertising your party, post them on telephone poles around the neighborhoods. Have FREE samples, merchandise giveaways with any order over $30, snacks and refreshments. Set up a card table or two and ask a best friend to keep you company and decorate the yard with some balloons to make it festive. Maybe your youngest son can set up a lemonade stand as well.
Pam: I saw a great suggestion one time that should work for ya! Go around to the service entrances at hotels / resorts in your area and leave catalogs for the staff... I have a cyber Avon friend who picked up several hundred in sales each campaign with this approach! She'd usually make one of the staff members a "helper" making her job that much easier.
Julie: Here's a good one! E-mail everyone in your address book with a special offer - good for this campaign only. If customer purchases $15 or more via your Avon website they will receive a free lipstick or mascara (whatever is on sale for you) with their order. Also, ask everyone to forward your special offer to anyone they know who might be interested.
8:16:13 PM doorbell []
Some photos to enjoy while I write
Here is a photo of me with the AVON CEO, Andrea Jung:
Some of the Avon Fall Quarter Holiday Stuff:
Ladies going crazy over Avon rings:
The Stage:
The new look of Avon! New brochure size/style in Campaign 20!
