Recovering from the Backyard Olympics,
and What Ulak is Gonna Do Tonight
I held the First Annual Backyard Olympics today. I'm too tired to write about it. I timed all the neighborhood kids running a homemade obstacle course, judged the Synchronized Sprinkler Swimmers (ha ha ha it was soooooo cute), monitored the egg toss (which turned into the full on egg throw, natch). We even had a greased pig catching contest, and that, my friends, brought the house down. Just another Saturday madness....
And tonight! Oh, tonight I shall bring home a fabulous story! I am meeting up with my Turkish friend, Ulak. I haven't seen him in a couple months. He bought a coffee house, has been immersed in renovating and hiring employees and getting county permits. I called him last night, said Hey Ulak, I gotta proposition for ya. I'll entertain you with wild stories of my time in Europe if you let me do....uh....something to you. For science, you understand.
See, folks, my delivery boxes this week included the New Avon Skin So Soft Hair Removal Microwave Wax Kit for Face and Body, and Ulak, oh poor Turkish Ulak, has the HAIRIEST BACK ON PLANET EARTH. I kid you not. Now, I like hair on a man. I like chest hair, don't go for buff smooth Adonis types, but Ulak's back hair is positively braidable. I'm surprised he doesn't have dreadlocks. I told him that those lithe dark exotic chicks he lusts after will not accept his coffee shop kindness unless he loses the fluff. So I will be the beautician this evening, play good bluegrass loud, sing, apply hot wax to the olive back of my friend, try not to upchuck. Review forthcoming....
4:48:16 PM 
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