Beauty Dish

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Beauty Dish Radio goes LIVE May 8! Please post any song dedications in an email to me. I will have to choose the song as my library is limited to bluegrass, folk, alternative, old school rock, heavy metal (it was a phase, I swear!), and my son's rap coochi mama CDs. You can dedicate songs to fellow readers, bloggers, friends, presidents, you name it! Also, Ulak has confirmed that he will give an interview. The only hitch: he does not want to be on internet radio discussing back hair. So I shall do the best I can to move the conversation in that direction... Please also get your questions for Ulak in to me if you just have to know something about the coffee Turk. Other than music and Ulak, I will have a short tap dancing segment and I will tell the story of when I got kicked out of the bowling alley in the town next door. I need a good opening theme song. If anyone wants to pen lyrics, I'll put them to banjo music and sing it at the beginning. I am open to suggestions for the show, if there is something you just want to know/hear/etc. And for tomorrow, I will tell you a sort of X-rated Avon story (relax, I said Sort Of) that happened a month or so ago and I never got around to writing. 7:47:29 PM    doorbell  []   Gettin' poked at with a stick I've been stuck by Mike! What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers. Here's that list: If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer... If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor... If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener... If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef... If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist... If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian... If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer... If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor... If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer... If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate... If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist... If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor... If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi... If I could be a mob boss... If I could be an Avon Lady... Now here's my answers: If I could be a missionary, I'd wear a purple turban and chant sea shanties in the chi chi neighborhoods of Malibu. If I could be a Jedi, I would be the best, the BEST light saber swordswoman, and my Jedi name would be Hiyobani Juniper SeaShell Queen Bee. I would fly a star ship made of fireworks and teach Yoda a thing or two about Avon. If I could be a backup dancer, I would shimmy behind Pope Benedict XVI, 'cause I think the Catholics (being a recovering one myself) need a little feminist nouveau hiphop tap dance with a little cleavage, ya know? If I could be a midget stripper, i would take it off at Cheetahs in San Diego where the city council accepts bribes. I would strip to songs by the Be Good Tanyas and wear those twirly tassels on my nipples while standing on a step ladder. If I could be a musician, I would pretty much do what I do now and play the banjo and saxophone and guitar (not all at once, people!) and get a big assed tour bus and go to dinky midwest towns and sing for my supper. Amen. Now, I'm going to pass the career baton to: Stephanie, 'cause she's stuck in an algebra funk Michele, 'cause she's got sass! Anita, 'cause she's already got a Real Career and probably entertains other ideas at times.... 7:23:14 PM    doorbell  []   Ingredients I researched the Bust Sculpt, Cellu-Sculpt, Line and Wrinkle Corrector, and Lift and Tuck products to see what the differences in ingredients are between them. The good folks at Avon do not have the specification sheet posted yet for the Lift and Tuck product. Avon reps can find these sheets in the members area at youravon.com. But! I have determined that each product, is, in fact, different. There are many ingredients in common, but each has a 'twist' with some different herb or chemical component. I am going to call back Bernice (aka "Jowls") and recommend the Lift and Tuck for her neck. I'm going to ask her if she would mind keeping track of any changes so that I can report them to my customers. 8:08:07 AM    doorbell  []

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