Slim and Sleek and Oh So Spotty
Review: Avon Slim & Sleek Leg Perfector
A couple of weeks ago my Avon delivery boxes contained a sheer plastic bag filled with a few boxes of samples and a rep demo sheet for a new product: The Avon Slim & Sleek Leg Perfector.
Get sexier looking legs! No pantyhose required!
Well, when I read those two lines, I lifted one eyebrow. No pantyhose? As a Southern California earthy crunchy Avon Lady, I don't wear pantyhose, don't wear anything but flip flops most days, but sure, I'd like sexier legs. Who wouldn't? I stuffed the samples in the pockets of my utilikilt and headed out the door with a backpack full of fresh brochures.
I gave a sample to an old woman wearing a sunflower print muumuu and another to the skinny lady who runs on a treadmill 24/7. I handed two to a middle-aged woman walking her Airedale, and left one at the home of the Christian home-schooling mom. I tried to hand one to a busty young mother unloading groceries from the back hatch of her SUV, but she slowly scanned my legs from kilt to sandal and asked with a skeptical tone, "So do YOU use this stuff?"
She held four plastic bags bulging with cold cereal and cans of Spaghetti-Os, and the waistband of her thong underwear peeked from behind her jeans.
I stared at my legs. A circular bruise covered my right knee from the prior evening when I tripped over Frankie the pig. A couple of spider veins held court across my calves, and a white ridge along my left knee caused by an angry clash with a lawn mover twenty years ago reflected the sun.
"Yeah, well I don't. And I obviously should."
She took the sample, stuffed it inside a bag next to a devil's food cake mix and headed toward her front door.
I dumped my pack on the sidewalk and sat on the curb. I really should be more careful of my appearance if I want to sell more Avon, I thought. I ripped open a sample square and smothered the lotion on my problem areas. The lotion smelled a bit like my grandmother's old bathroom air freshener, and it felt creamy and soft. The color was unusual - brown and reflective, as if someone ground mica and added it to the lotion. It instantly gave my legs a sparkle, a bit of a tan-like color, and I could feel it tightening the areas in which it was applied. Nice!
The rest of the afternoon felt happier, sexier, more fun - all because of my new Slim & Sleek Legs. I'm not kidding! I was practically sticking my legs in everyone's face showing the reduced spider veinage and the gentle brown coat.
Well. I should have researched the product before application. I should have warned my customers. What I didn't know - and the initial rep info sheet didn't say - was that the product contains instant tanner. By the time I arrived home my so-called sexy legs looked like sweaty shaved ecru dalmations from my three mile hike and the uneven application. And my hands!! Dark tanner ridges showed between my fingers and my palms looked as thought I massaged them in melted chocolate.
Three weeks later, with some regular application, my legs DO look darn good. My spider veins are slightly less visible and my Cali girl tan is gently enhanced. My palms finally faded to normal, thank goodness, but not before twenty customers or so asked me if I had a strange skin condition.
1:47:56 PM 
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