Review: Avon Anew Alternative Intensive Age Treatment
A breakthrough in herbaceutical science! ... says Avon...
Building a customer base from scratch in a new location is difficult. I'm struggling with it this week, and I find myself behind in absolutely every area of my life. I know this is normal, expected, utterly ordinary, especially with young boys and a cadre of animal companions. A better Avon rep would be more organized. A better rep would make more timely moves, not float through a dry-dock February by the seat of her kilt.
Avon knows the February blahs, too. Recent financial news told grim stories of how Avon's profit's tumbled 37-whopping-percent in its 2005 fourth-quarter. Ouch. But hey! It's almost spring, and that means flower-decked brochures and florid product description!
One of the products Avon is pushing on television is the fairly new Avon Anew Alternative Intensive Age Treatment, a face cream designed to "undo damage and turn back time." Even though I don't own or watch a television, I know all about the commercials thanks to my customers. None of them can remember the product's horrendously long name - neither can I! Everyone asks for the "brown bottle" with the "herb face cream." More than one person has pointed out to me how insane the names of these new Avon Anew products are starting to sound. Just this one product name contains - not counting the "Avon" - TWELVE syllables!
Avon is spending precious brochure space promoting this herb cream. (What? You think I'm gonna type out those twelve syllables? You're nuts!) Many of the recent catalogues sport a two (or more!) page spread decorated in muted browns and creams with two petri dishes side by side - one sporting a fresh green leaf, the other a glowing gold molecule. "Experience the powerful fusion of Eastern plant therapies and Western technology to fight and undo the signs of aging." Avon promises the goop will reverse wrinkles, restore contours, and repair damage. The advertising folks add some shocking percentages to add excitement and urgency to the literature. "100 percent showed more-even skin tone." One hundred percent?! Wow!
I tried this product last September during its huge roll out. It smelled fresh, rich, like the kind of expensive French facial cream you would try at Sephora and wish you could afford to purchase. The color is unusual - brown and almost metallic in hue, and the lotion smooths easily into your skin. I promptly posted a mini review a few days later:
Look. I usually give nice big thoughtful reviews, after a good week or two or three or four of good-faith use of any new Avon product. I'm going to do this with the new Anew Alternative, too. But holy ordained cows on pogo sticks, I don't know how I'm going to get through a two week trial! This stuff is giving me whopper zits!!!!!
Yeah, it was bad. I almost threw the stuff in the bin with a note to any dumpster divers to STAY AWAY! At forty-years-old I sported several constellations and a nebula or two across my cheeks and chin for a solid three weeks, my worst break-out since high school. But I continued to apply the product - figuring that perhaps my skin was undergoing a detoxifying bout - and as days turned into weeks turned into clear skin, turned into one month, than two, I started to actually see some small gains in skin health and texture.
Six months later the twelve-syllable herb cream (and THAT title is six syllables less than the real name!) remains a part of my daily regimen. My skin is softer and more even-toned than when I started using the Avon Anew Alternative Intensive Age Treatment (ah, just once more for laughs). No more February blah skin! This is not a miracle cream - I still have fine lines and wrinkles and some blotchy sectors along my hairline - but it is a nice addition to anyone's skin care routine. Just be warned that you may experience and uncomfortable transition as your skin adjusts to the product!
11:56:21 AM 
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