Marlon Brando, Pocahontas, and Me - Part Six
Avon + cowboys + (??) Scientology = the longest Beauty Dish story yet?!
Read Part One here and then read Part Two here then read Part Three here then read Part Four here then read Part Five here!
"My Gramma used to say that."
My eyes traced a faded scar running along his unadorned ring finger. I wondered if he hurt himself roping steer or chasing quarks. Maybe the mystery hands on the other side of the world found themselves cut by knife or thorn bush. I wondered if the simple phrase meant the same to him as they did to my religious Gramma, if they meant Sit Still and Do No Harm, if they were a reminder that life seems harsh and unfair but is timeless and serene at its center. The man glanced at the bracelet as if to remind himself what it read.
"Well, Princess, my Gramma used to say that too. Old ladies got us beat in the wisdom department. Now, that makes around twenty-five words you've spoken to my two-hundred fifty. How's about you tell me why Princess Leia is driving a Saturn filled with Avon in the middle of nowhere?"
The man leaned his butt against the hood of my car, resting on his hands. His shadow crept across the asphalt and touched my boots. I cleared my throat, tried to decide where to start. At my first trip to spy on the Scientologists? The part where my brochures disappeared? The mystery phone call? I wrinkled my forehead and closed my eyes.
"That's a lot of bug spray in those bags, Princess. Must be someone near water, and there isn't a whole lot of that around here."
He smiled, and the lines around his eyes deepened. The sun fell another notch in the sky.
"Well, I think I'm delivering those to a Scientologist lady, but she wouldn't tell me her name. All I know is I meet her at the Trementina Post Office. She sounded rich and hoity-toity, like she came from La Jolla or Santa Barbara. I tried to spy on the secret compound first but couldn't get past the gate and I didn't want to hike in and get arrested because I had my boys with me."
I paused for a moment, remembered my manners.
"And thank you so much for helping me. I didn't know what to do! The cows ran me off the road."
I winced in embarrassment. Boy, did I sound stupid.
The man laughed long and hard. He stood straight, wiped his hands on his jeans, and extended one in greeting.
"Well, Princess Leia, visitor from a land far, far away, with a herd of angry dark force cows on your tail and a light saber pointed at the Scientologists, my name is Leo. Now, I'm no Jedi knight, Princess, but I know how to use the force, and if you're asking, I can find you a gentle horse and take you riding up the back side of the mesa. Can't stop a cowboy from herding cows, even if you are a big shot Scientologist. What do you say?"
To Be Continued...
7:54:42 PM 
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