Beauty Dish

Thursday, March 23, 2006
 

Military Conspiracy!

I got a call a few minutes ago from a man.

"Hello? Is this Birdie? Avon?"

He pronounced my name funny, with the accent on the second syllable. His voice was young, Spanish, nervous, almost furtive.

"Yeah? This is Birdie. May I help you?" I grabbed a pen off my desk and got ready to write.

"Um. I found your brochure?" He waited. He breathed heavily into the phone.

"Yes? Would you like to place an order?" I tried to sound helpful, motherly, wanted to guide him through the obviously uncharted rigors of ordering beauty products.

"Yes. I think so. I need to smell like a Marine."

"Well, if you want to smell like a Marine, you should probably do some jumping jacks and run a few miles!" I laughed, but the man didn't think my words were funny.

"No, that's not what I mean. I need to smell like I could be a Marine."

I recommended the Wild Country cologne spray and matching Wild Country Hair and Body Wash. He said to put him down for two of each.

I wanted to ask him, Why in the world do you want to smell like a Marine?!?!? But I wrote out his order instead, took his name and address, and told him I would deliver next week.

"I guarantee you'll smell manly and rugged, just like a Marine." I gave a delicate cough, waited for him to spill the beans, but he thanked me and hung up the phone.

Why would YOU want to smell like a Marine?

Discuss.


9:35:37 AM    doorbell  []  


And ANOTHER reader review! Wow!

Review of Avon Mark Hook-Ups... On the Edge Liquid Eye Liner in Black and Browscara!
by Meg of Blogcabin

Well, I'll be honest with you right from the get-go, right off the bat, right... now. I'm a cosmetics girl. A girly girl. A product girl. A girl who loves stuff she can rub in and slather and paint on her face and body to make it softer, shinier, prettier, or less of something she doesn't wish to be. I believe in cos-magic.

And though you wouldn't know it to look at me -- I try to keep my makeup natural and my fragrance down to a dull roar -- but I sure do love me the pots and tubes and brushes and compacts full of wonder that fill up a whole drawer of my dresser. My favourite brands are the sleek and well-forumulated MAC, Nars, Stila, Lorac and Bonne Bell (yes! Bonne Bell!) lines, but I've been right curious about the "contemporary and young" Avon Mark line, too -- positioned (from what I know) as a product collection to bring on board the daughters of the old school Avon ladies (one of which our Birdie is clearly NOT.)

Since I only know the one gorgeous and talented Avon lady, it was complete kismet that led her to send me along a couple of Mark products: the Mark Hook Ups On the Edge Liquid Eye Liner in Black and "Browscara." They -- and a number of other Hook Ups products -- come in cute little cylinders about the length of my pinky finger (note: I have teeny hands) that you can click together with a 3/4 inch tube-shaped connector to form a single unit (with two ends of fun!) The design appealed to me both as a product junkie AND a girl who tends to lose stuff.

I have to admit, the Browscara is undeniably my favourite of the two items, since I possess brows that tend to reach out and grab things. They are surly, nasty beasts with a tendency to flap in the breeze if they are not tweezed and waxed into brutal submission. And the sweet, sweet Browscara is marvelous insurance in this process -- my eyebrows stayed put all day long with a quick comb of the clear-gel formula, applied with a mascara-wand-like brush. ALL DAY, mind you. Which is insanity and perfection all in one.

Now, to the On the Edge Liner. Liquid liner has a tendency to put me on the edge, for certain, since it requires such a steady hand and untwitchy eye to apply it properly (neither of which I am blessed with at 6 am, which I am usually putting makeup on.) I've usually only applied the stuff for evenings out, when the sharp Cleopatra-esque lines that the liquid creates would suit my party-ready attire. But I decided -- for the sake of science -- to try incorporating it into my morning routine, and I was pleasantly surprised by how nice a job the Mark liner did. The brush is stiff enough to create an unwavering line, and the gel formula is thick enough (but not too thick) to resist smudging during the application process. It even dried quickly, which was a godsend, since I was blinking like a mole in a patch of sunlight.

I dusted on a little MAC shadow in "Print" and I was on my way! An easy smokyish-yet-defined eye that again, lasted ALL DAY. Brilliant! Not even my watery allergy-afflicted orbs made the stuff budge! And when the time came to whisk it off at night, it came away cleanly with a sweep of eye makeup remover.

I heartily recommend both products for even cosmetic novices -- they were easy to use, long-wearing, and fun. My only quibble would be that the tiny packages will cause you to have to re-buy the product sooner than you might with regular-sized products, but hey -- I know an Avon Lady.

I'm hooked up for my Hook Ups.


9:10:39 AM    doorbell  []  



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