Beauty Dish

An Initial Review: Avon Anew Clinical Micro-Exfoliant

My local alternative weekly newspaper is crammed full of cosmetic surgery ads. A few months ago I was laying on the hammock, and in a fit of sheer boredom I counted the facial peels, laser facial resurfacing, botox, boob jobs, and tummy tucks ads littering the pages. 521. Yup. You read that right. 521.

Avon wants a piece of this action. They created a new "Clinical" line of products designed to mimic plastic surgery office procedures, but with safe and gentle products that you can use with confidence - if not the same professional results - at home. The newest item in the parade is the Avon Anew Clinical Micro-Exfoliant.

Microdermabrasion is a skin-polishing treatment you experience only under the hands of a trained specialist. Invisible microcrystals fly onto your skin from a tool like a dental water sprayer. It stimulates blood flow, and you end up with, as Avon claims, newer, more youthful-looking skin. Kind of an orbital sander for the face, I suppose. The Avon brochures point out that you would pay over $100 for one of these treatments in an office. The Micro-Exfoliant is only a cool twenty bucks for 2.5 ounces in a demure tube.

This product premiers in the Campaign 12 brochure. The literature bubbles with excitement, the words "intense exfoliation reveals fresher, more radiant skin," shimmer in bold print on a muted gray background. A nice, clinical, officey presentation, I think. I purchased a demonstration tube and slapped it on my desk next to my rubber stamp pad. For a week and one day it's been taunting me.

"C'mon Birdie,' it seems to be saying, "don't be afraid. You know you want skin like a baby's bottom."

Here's the truth: I was afraid to rub it on my skin, all grit and foam raising dead cells, coaxing blood to the surface. But I'm an Avon Lady. I can't sell this junk if I don't use it, don't talk about it, don't tell it's truth.

I faced the mirror, hair held back by an aging bleached red bandana, body still warm by the pajamas and leopard print fuzzy slippers in which I drove to school this morning. I squinted at the fine print on the slim white tube. Oh darn. You are not supposed to apply this on the same days you use another exfoliating product, and I had already applied the Avon Anew Clinical 2-Step Facial Peel when I jumped out of bed.

What the heck. It's science! I squirted a silver-dollar sized amount (as directed) into the palm of my left hand. I massaged the cream into my face and breathed deeply to detect any scent. I could smell a faint odor like apricot and vanilla. Nice. I rubbed into damp skin, avoiding the eye area, for two full minutes. The cream gave way to a smooth-grit sensation, like the finest sandpaper, and my face felt a slight sting like when you use an emery board on your nails and hit your finger by mistake.

I washed my skin with warm water. It felt cool and vibrant, as if my touch sensors has been turned up several notches with an invisible dial. My face felt completely smooth, unnaturally smooth, and glowed pink, not the red of the facial peel. Ahhhhhh, now this is an exfoliating experience I can promote!

I applied the Avon Anew All-In-One Max moisturizer with sunscreen and screamed, a blood curdling horror movie scream that send Suzie the dog running to save me.

"Holy S$&*!"

Ah. I didn't read the rest of the instructions. Do not use a moisturized with Alpha Hydroxy Acids after usage. Whoops. Another Avon lesson learned.

Three hours later, I'm still spitting out small bits of grit.

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