Beauty Dish

Avon Precision Body Fat and Hydration Scale by Carroll

DisGRUNTled Reader Weighing in on the Pig Scale by reader Carroll

OK, so let's say (hypothetically) that someone might be inactively pondering the advisability of procuring a new bathroom scale one of these days. I mean, if someone's current scale is somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-30 years old, and cost somewhere in the neighborhood of ten bucks or so when originally procured from somewhere in the neighborhood drugstore, it's reasonable to assume that it might occasionally cross their mind that it's gradually coming up on time for a replacement, right? But, when one has established such a comfortable relationship with one's own scale, of course this is not the sort of intuition upon which one is likely to feel compelled to rush right out and act.

And let's say this certain someone happens to be friends with a blogger who has extolled in public the (dubious) virtues of a multi-function scale she just happens to be pedaling.

Then, stretching this whole scenario just a tad further, suppose, that out of the blue, one day there arrives on this person's doorstep a large (enormous) carefully-wrapped package, return stamped from some dude named "Frankie" at an address that sounds vaguely familiar down in southern California.

Imagine that person's surprise, when, upon opening said package, she discovers an ever-so-slightly tested, super duper snazzy new bathroom scale. It's shiny. It's slim. It's sleek. It comes with batteries, and instructions. And oh my yes it cries out to be set down on the floor and tried out immediately.

But wait. That bagel the recipient had for breakfast. And the large piece of pie the night before. Mmmm. Better wait a day or so to try it out.

(Time passes)

Yikes! Annual physical coming up. What better time to test and calibrate a new scale. Eating habits have been *impeccable* for days in (sadly, futile) effort to lose 10 pounds before MD visit. Trusty 20-30 year old scale, however, shows gratifyingly measurable weight loss over past few months. Bite the bullet (fewer calories than a bagel) woman and try the new scale.

I'm tellin' ya, folks, that thing is a piece of crap.

First of all, the stylish so-called "feature" of having a perfectly level bottom (we're talking the scale here, folks, not the user!) apparently has a truly disastrous effect on the accuracy of the equipment.

For one thing, it shows exactly the same number every single time you step on it repeatedly "just to be sure". Feh! No option to pick and choose the number you like best out of several different possibilities? What a blow to creative accounting *that* is!

Plus, that number is so obviously *wrong*, being a full seven pounds greater than even the most pessimistic "average" of numbers indicated by the old scale.

Furthermore, the read-out numbers are completely clear and actually big enough to read without bending over, which, with the old scale, generally required a certain amount of "steadying" on a nearby counter, which of course improved the range of possible numbers considerably on most days.

But worst of all (and, I'm telling you, I don't see *how* they can in good conscience even market an item with this kind of performance deficiency!) it turns out to measure *exactly*, **precisely** the same as the scale at the doctor's office. I mean, really! Don't these folks have a *clue* how important (and fragile) a daily dose of denia... I mean self-esteem, can be to the average household user. Sheesh!

And, I do not even want to begin to discuss the impossibility of believing the results from the so-called body mass calculations that thing spits out. Mind you, this is just based on hearsay, since (there being no accurate mirrors in the house either) I really have no credible evidence outside of certain references on my friend's blog, but if this contraption is to believed, well, then I too am...fatter than a pig!

So, bottom line (no pun intended, and if you think you see one here, just keep that opinion to yourself, buddy!) if you want a piece of equipment like that in your house, then fine, go right ahead and order one of those "Digital Precision Body Fat and Hydration" gizmos from our friend Birdie. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to earn the commission.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

(Hmmph!)

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