Beauty Dish

Review: Avon Anew Clinical Lift and Tuck

Review: Avon Anew Clinical Lift and Tuck Professional Body Shaper

Look, I know I've only been using this product exactly two days, but in the interest of full and quick disclosure, I am giving you a first look at the new Avon Anew Clinical Lift and Tuck product. It arrived in my delivery boxes two nights ago, and I stopped bagging my customers' goodies to run to the bathroom and slather this stuff across my abdomen and up and down my butt. Oh yeah, baby, if Liposuction in a Tube is real, then I want in!

This product is being released in Avon Campaign 10 to coincide with the "New/Old" look of the brochure - the old style smaller book that representative and customers alike begged Avon to bring back. Personally, I loved the bigger brochure with the color-coded tabs down the side. It was easier to find stuff and bookmark good deals for my customers. But majority rules in this country, folks, so small dinky difficult to find crap brochure is back. Sigh.

The Lift and Tuck is heralded on four full-color pages inside the front cover of the brochure. An attractive and stinkingly slender blonde sits in a seductive come hither pose while graphic arrows point to her "problem areas." Yeah, right. 93% showed significantly firmer abdominal skin with continued use! 100% showed more-lifted buttocks with continued use! Yeah, right again. I've been in Avon over a year. I know the routine.

The cream comes in a generous 5 ounce squeeze tube with a flip top. The container and box are doctor white like the other products in the Anew Clinical line. The price for Lift and Tuck is $18.00, which compared to the Micro-Exfoliant and the 2 Step Peel is a real bargain. The advertising copy explains that Avon has a new "exclusive Vacu-Shape Technology" which "is formulated with a unique blend of patent-pending ingredients to help optimize skin cell performance." The literature goes on and on and on with these kinds of outrageous claims. After getting meh results with the Cellu-Sculpt and fair to good results with the Clinical facial products, I expected perhaps some small, barely measurable effect. You can read my past reviews to see that I don't fake it when it comes to my opinion of these Avon products. Some are decent, some are just terrible, and only one or two are exceptional.

I squeezed a generous dollop into my palms and spread the cream across my problem areas as described on the box. Immediately I felt a slightly uncomfortable tingle up my butt. My abdomen didn't register any tactile sensation. The cream smells fresh, vaguely herbal, and absorbs nicely into the skin, leaving a soft and non-greasy finish. You could put your best panties on after applying this product with no worry of smearing. (Really, this review is getting into the territory of Too Much Information, but I must soldier on...)

I applied the product two nights ago, and then yesterday morning, and then yesterday evening. I just finished applying it right now as part of my morning routine. My butt still tingles. But holy cow! The damn stuff is actually working! I nearly fell over backwards when I happened to glance at myself naked in the mirror after leaving the shower this morning. My stomach looks significantly less, uh shall we just say "flabby" and leave it at that... After multiple children and a less than stellar occasional regimen of crunches, I look like I've had only two children, perhaps, instead of five. I ended up spending a good eight minutes staring down at my belly, completely shocked at the transformation. I turned around to stare at my butt, too, but to be completely frank, I really don't look at it that often and thus can not report on how much firmer it is. If it's anything like my abdomen, I'm GLAD I didn't look at it "before!"

Run, don't walk, to your nearest and dearest Avon rep and get this product. If I look this fabulous after only two days, by next month I'll be replacing Salma Hayek as the face of Avon. Or well, as the belly of Avon anyway.

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