Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Home Birth Sisters bond after a home birth 7:56:25 PM    comment [] Midwives Use of Midwives, a Childbirth Phenomenon, Fades in City. The use of midwives in the city has declined due to insurance pressures and the threat of lawsuits. [New York Times: Health] I was sad to read this. Two of my daughters were delivered by nurse midwives, one at the hospital, one at home. Another was delivered at home by a family practitioner. There seem fewer options for unmedicated childbirths than there were 25 or 30 years ago. My two home births were wonderful experiences for the entire family. 4:31:14 PM    comment [] "I Don't Want to Be Just a Mother" I didn't set out to be the mother of four. With five younger brothers, I had no romantic illusions about motherhood. From age 13 to 26, I wasn't sure I wanted to be a mother. Instead, I was determined to have a glamorous, challeging, intellectually demanding career which I felt to be incompatible with motherhood. Although I knew I wanted a career, I never could decide what career. I invariably said "I don't know" when people asked me what I wanted to do. But I always added, "I don't want to be just a mother." I valued intellectual acheivement at the expense of the maternal, emotional, intuitive side of my nature. I was sure I didn't want to be just a teacher, a nurse, or a social worker either; the traditionally feminine fields were not for me. I would aim higher. 3:22:13 PM    comment [] Who Am I? I am the 58-year-old mother of four grown daughters, 30, 28, 25, 21. Two years ago, I married an English programmer whom I met on an internet support group six years previously. I am the primary caregiver of my 82-year-old mother, who suffers from dementia and Parkinson's disease. I am the oldest of six, with five brothers. I am the oldest of forty first cousins. A lifelong feminist, I am disillusioned. If anything, it seems harder to combine caregiving and career than it did forty years ago, when I began to struggle with the dilemma. I want to explore why and what to do about it. Professionally, I have worn many hats. In my twenties I edited psychiatry and psychology books. I stayed home full-time with my daughters for 15 years, volunteering as a childbirth and parenting educator and a La Leche League leader. Then I went back to school, got my master's degree in both library science and social work. As my children grew up, my parents needed more of my time; my dad died of Alzheimer's Disease in 1987. My mom was splendidly independent until 2000; now she needs help with everything and cannot be left alone. 3:03:45 PM    comment []

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