"I"ve never spit in anyone's food; it's just that whole Karma thing. Plus, who wants to get revenge when the person doesn't know what you've done to them?

It's better to just be rude right back."

--Waitress down in NoHo

There are any number of scams that customers run to try and get a free drink, or a better table, or maybe to get their dessert comped. The usual scam is to just be difficult and complain, hoping that their naturally immature behavior will be placated with something they don't deserve.

I had one waiter describe it to me as haggling. The customer walks in the door, the wait's too long. Then the table's not good enough. Why did the waiter take so long to take the order? And now our appetizers are cold, and because we sent them back, the entrees came out too early.

All of the these "problems" are really creative inventions by the customers to create an aura of inadequacy on the part of the restaurant so that they can get the discount at the end. Sort of like haggling at a swap meet, where the seller names a price and then the shopper points out flaws in the merchandies to get a better deal. "But $9.00 is kinda' high. This corner is frayed and the elastic is shot...How about $6.00?"

The waiter of course is getting completely exasperated because this flea market mentality creates more work and is really designed to wear everyone down. "I'm so sorrry, sir, that your burger came out with a pickle on the plate. Could I get you another round of drinks, on the house?"

Then there are the professional scam artists, people who aren't just acting out on their natural impulses and embarrassing everyone else at the table, but those who have set the whole thing up before they even walked in the door.

Here's Roger, who works at a pub south of NYU, detailing a scam that caught him.

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It's always difficult to wait on people from other countries because in their country they usually don't tip. But some of them will read their guide books or they're well travele and they'll tip you alright. But a lot of times you get people who barely speak English. They've only been here a couple of days, and they're stumbling through the menu, and they're taking forever because they don't' know what anything is, and they're trying to communicate but you can't understand anything they're saying...They're the people who are, "I want a beer.

And I'm always, "Well, what kind?"

Then they're confused. "I want a beer." Ya' know?

This whole language barrier thing. So you do all this work and you're trying to figure it out, and you try to get everything right, and then in the end, they throw down a dollar. Because in their country tip is included, so to leave an extra dollar is a great compliment. But here, that's a slap in the face. They don't know about the twenty percent thing.

I had a guy one night...this was a bad experience. This guy was with a friend of his, and they had a couple of beers, and they were just annoyingly outgoing. Every time I walked by they were, "Hey! What did you think of that game today? So where are you from?"

You just want to work and they just want to talk. I was friendly, and talked with them and we laughed a little. Whatever. And then the guy is "Hey, I want a piece of your apple pie, but I'm very allergic to nuts. Are there any nuts in the apple pie?"

I told him I didn't think so. And he really wanted to know because he was allergic. Well, we don't make the apple pies here. Honestly, we get them in from a company, we throw them into the freezer, and later put them in the microwave and serve them. So he asked me to go find out.

Now I know the kitchen doesn't know, because they don't make them, and it's a bunch of Mexican guys and they hardly speak English. So I ask them what's in the apple pie, if there's nuts. And they say no. "No nuts. No nuts." They kept saying that.

I went back up and told him, so he said, "Okay, I'll take a slice of apple pie."

I bring out the apple pie, and he takes a couple of bites. By the time I come back, he's gulping down his water and saying, "Look at me. Look at me. I'm breaking out into a sweat and I'm swelling up! You said there was no nuts."

I told him, "Sir, I told you we don't make the pie, and I told you to the best of knowledge."

His friend says, "I'm a doctor, and I take this very seriously. We could sue you."

Then they stand up, and I told them they had to pay the check, and they wanted me to take the pie off. My manager comes over to see what the problem is and they're yelling at the manager. He told them he would take off the pie but they said that's not good enough; they shouldn't' have to pay at all.

Now they had racked up around a $150 bill. They were having drinks and shots and eating all kind of things. They kept this whole thing up that they shouldn't have to pay the bill because we had tried to kill them.

It was a whole big scene. So fine, my manager told me to not give them the whole check for free, but to just take some more things off, so I did and they signed it and said it was ridiculous, threatened to sue and walked out. They didn't leave me a tip.

And afterwards, I heard that this was some scam. It was a horrible situation, but they got their apple pie for free and a whole lot of other things. And we never heard from them again.

6:42:44 AM     comment []