05 June 2004

How grace offends One of the things that really drove me away from fundamentalism was its exclusivism. Jesus chided the Pharisees for "shutting the kingdom of heaven in men's faces". There came a time when it suddenly became glaringly obvious to me that this was exactly what my brand of religion had been doing to people all along -- excluding. Around me, in my church, all I could see were people eager to slam the doors of the kingdom in other people's faces. You live with a partner you're not married to? SLAM! You're gay? SLAM! You don't go to church? SLAM! You don't believe in the Trinity? SLAM! You smoke and drink? SLAM! You cuss? SLAM! Some people get really uppity at the suggestion that other people might be entering the kingdom ahead of them. They fume and seethe at the thought of someone who doesn't meet with their approval being welcomed by God. Eager to protect their special place, anxious to preserve the image of themselves as uniquely deserving of God's love, the idea that someone might get the kingdom as a gift they don't deserve makes them see red. Jesus' parables always hit the nerve with this kind of thinking. The workers in the vineyard were incensed that a bunch of lazy bums who hadn't worked nearly as hard as them were getting the same pay. The elder son was furious that all his hard work was apparently wasted when his no-good asshole of a brother wandered in from a life of debauchery and was welcomed right back into the family with a party. The five virgins who did "the right thing" and went to get extra oil for their lamps missed the bridegroom, where the five who stayed on their butts got the prize. I love the way Father Robert Farrar Capon expresses this crazy irony: Watch an actual instance of Jesus at his parabolic best. In the eighteenth chapter of the Gospel of Luke, we find him addressing a group of people who are smugly content in their confidence that they are upstanding citizens -- and who are convinced that anyone not exactly like themselves have no chance of making it into God's guest register. So he tells them the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican. Note not only what an insulting story it is, but also how small the prospects are that his audience will ever be able to get past its details to its point. Far from being an illustration that shines an understanding they already have on something they haven't yet figured out, it is one that is guaranteed to pop every circuit breaker in their minds. God, Jesus informs them, is not the least bit interested in their wonderful lists of moral and religious accomplishments. Imagine the scene for a moment. You can almost hear the reaction forming in their minds: "What do you mean, God's not interested? We have read the Scriptures -- with particular attention to the commandments. We happen to know he is absolutely wild about fasting, tithing and not committing adultery." But Jesus ignores them and presses the parable for all its worth. Not only is God going to take a dim view of all their high scores in the behaving and believing competition; he is, in fact, going to bestow the gold medal on an out-and-out crook who just waltzes into the temple, stares at his shoelaces, and does nothing more than admit as much. What is this utterly scandalous grace? Dave 5:48:18 PM    comment [] In the news today... The news just keeps on pouring in: Fiery preacher Flapmore has "feminine side" (07/03/03) Religion correspondent Chuck Wineguard reports Jeb Flapmore, the famed Baptist preacher, is in hiding today after he accidentally revealed to a television audience of up to five million yesterday that he had worn a pair of panties belonging to his wife of thirty years, Gilda. A visibly embarrassed Rev. Flapmore, 57, made a hasty retreat from the studio, claiming that the interview had been "a set-up, a Goddam sham." The comments came about four minutes into his interview with anchor Harv Sanderson on the World Today program. Pressing him on the gay rights issue, Sanderson fired question after question at Flapmore, provoking increasingly intense responses, and eventually asking, "But doesn't every guy have his feminine side?", to which the by-now-irritated evangelist blurted out, "Well, sure, I've done the whole thing parading around in the wife's panties and that stuff." After the revelation was met with gasps and prolonged silence from a live audience, Flapmore laughed nervously and stammered, "Who hasn't at least once or twice?", at which point every hand in the studio was raised. When the host, with a knowing smile, confessed he had often wondered what the experience was like, and began coaxing Flapmore into giving further details, the rotund Reverend from Tennessee summoned his bodyguards to help winch him out of his chair, and fled the studio amid much consternation. The disgraced preacher later claimed he had actually said, "Well, sure I have never done the whole thing parading around in the wife's panties and stuff," and charged the World Today program with deliberately editing the episode to make him look bad. When a reporter pointed out the show was recorded live, Flapmore began slowly exiting the room backwards, saying, "I have to go now." According to his bodyguard and personal assistant, a muscular eighteen-year-old Flapmore brought back from a "missions trip" to Bangkok in 2001, the evangelist's wife will be not be commenting on the matter. 11:45:52 AM    comment []

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