No longer children When does a child become an adult?
Yesterday in church we had a special Sunday School prizegiving service, and naturally the sermon was one of those children's sermons where the vicar needs lots of little helpers to hold things up and read things out and that sort of thing. At one point, the vicar turned towards the choir and asked, "Would any of the choirchildren like to come out and help?" There was a lot of squirming, and eventually one of the choirgirls made her way out of her seat. Key word: Squirming.
I thought about this while I should have been listening to the message (something to do with making sure we take time out to brush our teeth and eat our breakfast and all these other things, and the upshot was that you also had to remember to make time for God), and I felt for some of those girls squirming around in their seats. See, I remember being at that awkward age of about fifteen or sixteen when you aren't quite sure whether you're a child or a grown-up. And no-one really helps you much. There's no cut-off point when you wake up one morning and suddenly you're no longer a boy but a man and everybody knows it.
When I was their age, I would sit there awkwardly when the pastor would ask "all the children" to come to the front. Does he mean me? I don't know what I am. It was embarrassingly awkward, and whether you remained in your seat or went out to the front, you were just as conspicuous. And I don't think people made allowances for that, either. You'd get the nudges and the looks -- "Go on, then!" -- and you didn't know quite how to express the uncertainty and discomfort and sense of I-don't-know-if-he-means-me you felt. I think you'd sooner be perceived as going through a rebellious, uncooperative phase than being just a teenager who wishes someone would tell him who he is and what he's supposed to be and what's expected of him and damn well when.
I suppose other societies and cultures have their own rites of passage to deal with these things, but what do we have? That uncomfortable shuffling-in-your-seat-am-I-a-child-or-not phase.
Dave
10:06:06 AM 
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