Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I'm here, I'm here One thing about life with a new baby is that there's no question about where you, the mom, fit into the order of priority. Do you fit into the order of priority? Only sometimes. The kids, the house, the H, all come first, which isn't a bad thing, but sometimes gets wearing. (And I am a privileged mom who gets a few hours of childcare every week, whose older child spends most days at a private preschool, who doesn't have to work [much, anyway] outside the home, who has the luxury of paying a housekeeper to do much of the wiping, washing, and so on...) So why am I complaining?? I'm not, exactly. It's more an observation, and I'm convinced that it has something to do with gender difference more than anything else; that women are hardwired somehow to take care of all the other priorities and then tend to themselves after everything else is done. I'd welcome commentary on this. Again, I don't mean to be whiney (I leave that to the 3 1/2 year old, thank you) but it's on my mind. Speaking of Dido, since some of you (ahem, Mieke) have asked, he's doing quite well with the Babe. He likes her. The first couple of weeks, he was pissed off, but at me and the H, seemingly never at her. We got a lot of temper tantrums, assertions of pure child will, etc. But with her, it's all kisses and hugs, wanting to see her with her eyes (rarely!) open. Occasionally, there's a fantasy game (lots of those, these days) wherein the Bad Pirates come and take the baby away on their ship. (Yes, Dido has often cast himself in the role of the Bad Pirates' Captain.) But the Babe is oblivious, and if that helps him work out his feelings, so be it. A friend with three kids suggested that we start (prior to the Babe's arrival) telling Dido that when he feels like the Babe is sucking up all the attention, he should tell us "I need some attention from you now." We repeated this several times before the birth, and frankly, thought he was ignoring us (there's a lot of selective deafness these days, too.) But this morning, we were all in bed together; I was trying to ignore both children, having spent a large portion of the night entertaining the small one, and hoping the H would spirit them both away so I could get twenty (more?) minutes of sleep. And then I heard Dido, presumably reacting to the fact that his dad was cooing over the Babe: "I need some attention, too, Daddy." I melted. 9:26:15 PM     comment [] trackback []