Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Back home to insomnia... We came home Saturday night from Hawaii, which was glorious and though it felt too short while we were preparing to leave, I found myself actually and increasingly glad to be home--glad to be in my house, energized about reentering life after an amazing, battery-charging vacation. For years, I never took vacations--no money, no time, lots of seemingly good excuses. Let's just say that I am a convert. But now that I'm home, I'm facing my first in some time bout of insomnia (hello, it's 1:30 a.m., and my kids will be up at 6, latest) and worse, I'm really churning mentally. Here's the deal (and I think I've written about this before): I am the classic case of "thought is the enemy of action." (Who said that, anyway?) I think myself to death, but actually getting off my butt to do any of the things I think about is near-impossible. Here is a list of things I'd like to do: 1. Learn to meditate 2. Run a marathon 3. Write a novel 4. Get our finances truly organized, and systematized 5. Play more with my son 6. Be better at maintaining my important relationships 7. Start my own business (I came back from Hawaii with two ideas.) I'm sure there are more, but these are the recurring--endlessly churning--ones. But I SUCK at starting. I am not a self-starter, which is the real reason I didn't become a producer when I left my cushy television network job. I think and think and think some more, but I don't do. Does anyone have any practical suggestions for me? Books that have helped? Miraculous mantras that have focused and calmed your mind? I'm getting to the point of reading self-help books, which is something I admit I have tended to ridicule in the past. But I need to live my life, not think about it, and not lose sleep over it! 1:36:15 AM     comment [] trackback []