Monday, November 29, 2004

Leaving Another Family I feel a little conflicted leaving my current organization. I feel like I should be ... feeling something. Some attachment. Some sadness about leaving. I don't. Before I write this next part, I'm going to play a little game. It goes like this. Let's say that I worked for five years at an organization called the Coalition for All that is Righteous. We'll call it CAR for short. Let's pretend that I'm leaving my current job with an organization called Friendly Individuals for Salmon and Happiness. We'll call it FISH for short. I know it's a little goony, but play along with me. So anyway... when I left my last gig, I told people I would always be part of the CAR family. I spent five years there, and really felt like CAR's issues were my issues. And I still am in contact with several staff members. They keep me updated about people I worked with, or issues. But not so with this current organization. I had much less time to get used to FISH issues, first of all. But also, CAR worked on issues that genuinely affect people. FISH works on environmental stuff - of course, environmental problems affect people, but it's more of an abstract connection. And I don't get to work with grassroots members very much, so I don't interact with people who are affected by the problems that FISH is trying to solve. I felt really sad when I left CAR. Now that I'm leaving FISH, it feels more like cleaning up an apartment before you move out. I'm doing the basic functions to be done with this gig, but I'm not going to cry. I'm just going to leave Friday at 5:00 pm, and start another job next Monday morning. It's just moving offices. Oddly enough, this lack of sadness makes me a little sad. I was so excited to be moving into a challenging new position at FISH, and I thought I would spend years and years here. I really thought I would nest here. I didn't even have time to use my business cards. I was so hopeful that I would learn about FISH' issues and learn to be as passionate about them as I was about CAR's issues. I wanted to be passionate about FISH. They never gave me the chance. So I'm angry, and I feel a little cheated. Maybe that's why there's no tears. 7:50:43 PM     Speak up!  []