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	Saturday, September 11, 2004

The art over the fireplace is the first mistake here: sucky brassy modernist frame, a huge isolated splash of Chinese red with no relationship to the color scheme, Oriental concept fighting the style of the rest of the room. It's also too big/hung too low: the (blah) vases on the mantelpiece are set so precariously on either side they'd make anyone in the room subliminally nervous over time.

The FAKE "glowing fire" in the white plaster niche under the FAKE "carved marble" mantelpiece is bad enough, but it is surrounded with that horrific FAKE malachite in an eye-hooking GREEEEEEN. Which is so awful and unnatural that it even manages to clash with the real flower arrangement in the foreground

The balloon shades were a mistake, not just because their frou-frou interferes with the french doors' linear elegance, but because their contrast with the white woodwork and walls is the visual equivalent of blunt trauma to the head. Whack! Contre-coup!

That ferocious purple (the color of a subdural hematoma, interestingly enough) would be bearable -- even chic -- if it was taken less seriously. But here it seems to be barging into the room saying, "Aren't I an IMPORTANT color? Admire me!" You can't help feeling contemptuous of its heavy and humorless hand.

And that caramel marble coffee table? The escapee from Versailles? Those silver-gilt knees just make me giggle.

How 'bout you?

UPDATE:

Here's my very crude, "don't move anything" revision of this living room. I took inspiration for the more casual and lighthearted color scheme from the flowers on the coffee table.

I also (very clumsily) added mass to the lamp to help balance the room a bit. Maybe a ginger-jar concept would look good there. I wanted to darken the walls and the frame, but my extremely slapdash Photoshop skills are not up to that.



9:56:41 PM    comments [] trackback []
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The first janet I've seen this year (vague see-throughs don't count -- you gotta have it out there to qualify).



I'm sure there are many more to come.

(Vera Wang Spring 2005 RTW)

Edit: Yup, more there is. See the nipplage amidst the spaghetti in "Goof Troop," below.

6:53:16 PM    comments [] trackback []
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The mishy Manskirt (not to be confused with the Scotsman's swoon-worthy prerogative) is bustin' out all over in Spring 2005 RTW.

You just know you're going to get one.

Someday.

Sebastian Pons I wonder if I can get this in my size? With a pretty pink blouse, maybe.

Miguel Androver

6:42:17 PM    comments [] trackback []
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From Sebastian Pons (Spring 2005 RTW), two great new ways for you guys to dress up for Halloween this year:

Organ Grinder's Monkey Hubba hubba, Bobo Bubba! This hunk should never wear clothes at all, much less THESE.

Cowgirl Why is he wearing the blouse I loved in second grade?

6:30:51 PM    comments [] trackback []
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Spring 2005 RTW.

Zac Posen	Zac Posen
Imitation of Christ ("Fifth Element" division)	Imitation of Christ (more of this nutty "stringwear" here)

6:18:56 PM    comments [] trackback []
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Maternity wear for the un-preg

Carolina Herrera	Carolina Herrera
Jeffrey Chow	Imitation of Christ

More waistless wonders below.

5:56:17 PM    comments [] trackback []
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I really hate the drop-waisted blouson silhouette (no waist! more filling!), and they're showing a lot of it in Spring 2005 ready-to-wear. Observe:

PHI	PHI
Carolina Herrera	Tommy Hilfiger
Proenza Schouler	Doo.ri
Vera Wang	Vera Wang
	(Doesn't this look like something you'd see on the local 7-11 Bag Lady?)

5:47:58 PM    comments [] trackback []
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Carolina Herrera	Vera Wang

(Both: Spring 2005 RTW)

5:33:22 PM    comments [] trackback []
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Don't miss the theological threepio at World O'Crap today, including this quote from Tamara Wilhite trying to out-Malkin dear Michelle:


As was noted by one of the commenters on WOC, it's kinda creepy that she uses the term "interred" instead of "interned." Ms. Wilhite's strategy is obviously to get attention, à la Malkin and Coulter, but as WOC snorts, "she doesn't have the hair or the legs" to be the next nutjob wankababe.

Afterwards, there's a delicious little ramble through the mind of a Protestant dingbat who presumes to not only judge the filthy soul of John Kerry against that of the merely "flawed" Bush, but to pronounce (in his infinite, Pope-like wisdom) that John Kerry is extending his sins by daring to take Communion. Wank, wank, wank.

Then there's Frank Gaffney. WOC quotes him:

Using innuendo and a steady stream of (often recycled) press leaks, the names and reputations of a number of people — including several who are senior officials in the United States government at the moment — have been sullied.

There is no need to repeat their names here.

Gaffney's talking about the investigation of Pentagon neo-conservatives Douglas Feith, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle et al., and members of Vice-President Cheney's office who may be involved in some very serious kinds of espionage.

Today [Gaffney continues], anti-Semitic witch-hunts can be dressed up as ideological conflicts between the Bush Administration's so-called "hardliners" and "moderates." The former are increasingly caricatured as "neo-conservatives." For many who use this ill-defined term, though, it serves as an unmistakable, pejorative code word for "Jews."

"Funny," WOC says, "Dick Cheney doesn't look Jewish." Never mind that many neo-conservatives use the term for themselves, it's pejorative. Trust me.

If the conduct of hostile bureaucrats and Democratic partisans, reprehensible as it is, can at least be easily understood, the behavior of the FBI is less comprehensible. It would be one thing if law enforcement were filing charges and presenting compelling evidence of wrongdoing — and clarity as to who engaged in it.

Oh, I see now. Prosecuting a spy ring is comprehensible, but investigating possible spy rings prior to filing charges against them is a sinister plot by hostile bureaucrats at the FBI.

Hyprocrisy, thy name is Wingnut. For them it was not only a perfectly legit but saintly cause to spend 70 million taxpayer dollars and provide the press with constant leaks and "innuendo" (read: stenographic dictation) regarding the terrifying, life-threatening, Republic-endangering horrors they were uncovering in Clinton's ancient land deal and sexual adventures. But to let anyone in the press know that there is a current ongoing investigation into ESPIONAGE, the actual compromise of national security is ... wait for it ... "anti-Semitic."

Because, you know, Robert Novak, the columnist who outed that CIA agent, is Jewish.

...uh....well...

He's actually Catholic now, but, hey, everybody knows he was BORN Jewish. So that's why he's a material witness being persecuted in this horrible investigation Democratic plot within the FBI.

12:45:57 PM    comments [] trackback []
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