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	Sunday, September 12, 2004

More on the neoconservative whining about how mean we're being to them when they dint do nuthin!, from the Rittenhouse Review:


Hey, what about the Project for a New American Century (PNAC)*? Was that just in our imaginations, fellas? Was it something you lobbied Clinton on (like puppies who won't let go of a pant leg) just for the fun of it, all jokey-like? Then why did you get so pissed off at him when he wouldn't go for it?

I'm sure Clinton rues the day he decided against invading Iraq on your advice.

Not.

*PNAC (known in some circles as Pasty NeoCon Crackheads) created a master plan in the 90s for the conquest of Iraq and the subjection of the entire Middle East to 100 years of enhanced American power. They wanted the oil, they wanted Israel's enemies wiped out, they wanted American Empire: our destiny, they hold, is to not just to be one of the planet's LICs (Large and In Charge), but the Largest and the Only, the undisputed Champeeeen, Ruler of the World!

(Getting goosebumps yet?)

Furthermore, they say, we can't let Europe or Russia or any of those other upstarts growing powers get their pansy-ass socialist fingers in the pie because WE are the only good and brave and godly nation on earth. Everything America does is right, just by definition. Everything. And besides, those other people -- the ignorant black ones, the brown sand-kissing devil-worshippers, those billions of tricky yellow Chinamen -- they would just fuck it up. So it has to be us. It just has to.

USA! USA! USA!

Well, you might say, "That might not be such a bad idea. I like it. Big, Bad, Macho America, kickin' butt, forcing all those lesser countries and inconvenient people do exactly what we want them to do, when we want them to do it. Man, if only I could do that in MY life...."

But you digress.

Here's the kicker (as if you couldn't see it coming). While there can be enormous value in applying group brain power to promoting and projecting our country's power in the world (enlightened self-interest isn't just for breakfast anymore), the only way these PNAC "intellectuals" could think of to enhance and maintain America's strength and secure her future was via military takeover, i.e., bloodshed. Mass quantities of bloodshed. Enough bloodshed to fill millions of 55-gallon barrels and vast fleets of tanker trucks.

AND THEY PROPOSED STARTING WITH IRAQ.

It was to be the first in a string of conquests designed to bring the Middle East -- and thus the rest of the world -- under our thumbs. So PNAC used 9-11 to get started on their master plan. We had to use this opportunity to attack Iraq, they said, even before we were finished in Afghanistan. Whether there was really any "excuse" or not.

Yes, I'm serious. Yes, they really said that. For example, from Disinfopedia:




So let's recap. A group of folks who are now serving in fantastically powerful positions in the Bush 2 Administration (many of them after doing the same in the realpolitik bowels of the Reagan and Bush 1 governments) created a plan to invade Iraq in the 1990s, and they tried very, very hard to sell it to Clinton. Who didn't buy it, and not because he was too distracted by the right-wing grabbing after his plenipotentiary penis.

Geo Whiz, on the other hand, was the perfect sucker. Not well-read or intellectually curious enough to realize that these people were out. of. their. fucking. minds, and all-too-eager to sign on the dotted line to demonstrate his "cowboy" muscle. "Feels great!" "Dead or Alive!" "Mission Accomplished!" Have you ever noticed that it's the guys who really don't have confidence in their masculinity who have to resort to swagger and strutting? Whose codpieces enter the room sixteen seconds before they do?

So anyway. Fast forward to today and many PNAC-ers are at the center of the FBI's investigation into back-door pipelining of Iranian intelligence to Israel. And now they're squealing "persecution!" "liberal plot!" "anti-semitism!" and "who, me?"

Today they want us to think they and their dreams of Iraqi glory never really existed.

I wonder why.


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