Sure Thing, My Checking Account Number is...
"PRINCE ZUMA" <p_zuma@zwallet.com>;
06/14/2004 10:18 AM
Please respond to prince_zuma |
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
cc:
Subject: ATTENTION ON DISTRESS CALL |
Dear Sir,
I know that this proposal might be a surprise to you but it as an emergency.In a nutshell, I am MR.P. ZUMA, from the republic of south-africa, now seeking for refuge in Dakar Senegal under the(UNHCR).I got your contact during a desperate search here in Dakar for a possible transaction.
My (late) father DR. ZUMA KENT WILLIAMS, was the managing director of Gold Mine company in SOUTH AFRICA. But he was assnated by his business assoicate and all his properties was totally destroyed. However, we managed to escape with some of my father's documents covering $18.3 Million dollars which is presently deposited safely in a security and finance company here in Dakar.
Meanwhile,we are saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foriegn personality to help us transfer the money over to his country and into his possession pending our arrival to meet with him. Furthermore, we only want this done this way because your country is politically stable for any profitable investment and only if you accept our proposal, you will serve as the beneficiary of the fund on commencement of this proposed transactions.
I am giving you the offers as mentioned with every confidence on your acceptance to assist us, we have decided to invest 40% of the total fund based on equity participation in your company. Secondly, we shall also take 5% out for any miscelleneous expenses that may occure.
Conclusively, i wish you send me a reply immediately as soon as you recieve this proposal so that we shall arrange on how to lift this consignment out of Dakar Senegal to your country.
On commencement,this transaction will take nothing less than 14 working days to be accomplished. All documents covering the fund are safe and intact. i remain with the best regards.Please kindly responce to this 002216496768) .
Thanks yours,
Mr Prince Zuma.
Dear Mr. Prince Zuma,
I have read your recent e-mail with great distress. I was saddened to learn that a Prince such as yourself has been ousted from the Republic of South-Africa. How did you manage to smuggle your throne out of the country? Was it disassembled and placed in body cavities and removed one wooden piece at a time. My curiosity consumes me. Do you have a fear of splinters?
I must admit that Dakar Senegal seems an odd choice for asylum for a Prince such as yourself. Might I suggest Monaco or Paris instead? The accommodations would be more to your liking. I hear that Euro Disney has improved mightily and that you can even get beer in the Park! Imagine that!! Do you know what the Senegal word for Winnebago is?
I also must admit that I greatly admire what your father has apparently done, renouncing his throne in the name of medicine. (And after all the trouble you went to getting it out of the country!) At what point did he decide that being King Zuma Kent Williams was less desirable than Dr. Zuma Kent Williams? Do you know Matt Williams? I went to high school with him. Does your father know a good remedy for bunions? Are you related to Andy Williams? Were you ever on his Christmas special?
As for your financial woes, I have had a flash of inspiration. Has your father looked into getting a checking account? He should have no trouble attaining one with his $18.3 million dollars (euros? pesos?). He might even get a free toaster oven or cappuccino machine. My checks have Scooby Doo on them. That might not be to your liking since I just looked up Senegal on Google and found that they eat scooby doo's over there. I might also suggest getting a credit card.
We give them away like venereal diseases here in the U.S.A.
Unfortunately, I will be unable to help you with your financial problems. I have quite an aversion to money and have recently taken vows of poverty, chastity and stupidty. I am also fasting, meditating and doing community service. (One little bar fight and the next thing you know you're spending every Saturday out on highway 80 in an orange jump suit looking for a cigarette with a couple of puffs left.)
God speed with your endeavor.
Blunt Object
8:43:27 PM 
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