Behind every code-challenged man...

Monday, July 19, 2004

Finally got some links up, with help from Birdie of Beauty Dish (my new bestest friend) and a coupla the übergeeks who've dedicated entire blogs to helping the handicapped (me). You can find 'em here.

Birdie caught a goof I'd made before it got too embarrassing. Cocky idjit that I am, I didn't test the links after I got 'em up. When she tried 'em they didn't work. So she e-mailed me.

"Ok, I looked at your source," she wrote. "You have an extra slash in front of the URL,
it looks like this:

href="/http://blogs.salon.com/0003522/

so delete the / in front of the http's and you are golden!"

I told her nuh-UH, that slash was supPOSed to be there. Some weird XML thing. Turns out I'd misread the Newbie Tip -- the extra slash only goes before an internal page link, i.e. one that doesn't begin with "http."

As it turns out, Birdie's f19 goes to college near me. Next time Birdie comes up for a visit, I'm takin' her to lunch.

Maybe first I should google for a restaurant in Santa Cruz that serves crow.

But I really am a fart smeller

I know because I got six out of seven on AOL's "Kerry Quiz."

"Maybe you should introduce him at the convention," it said. Yeah, according to the polls, maybe somebody should introduce him to about half of America.

Now, far be it from me to accuse AOL of endeavoring to appeal to the least common denominator, but I really thought the "Kerry Quiz" would have questions on stuff like his voting record. Y'know, to see if he really is the "No. 1-rated Senate liberal" as W and Dick G.F.Y. Cheney say.

I shoulda known better, but I've been on AOL for almost 11 years, since the days when it and Compuserve and Prodigy and Delphi and one other short-lived ISP whose name escapes me were battling for internet dominance. So you'd think I'd know by now that "AOL For Dummies" is an oxymoron. (It boggles my mind that such a book even exists. If you can't figure out AOL, you shouldn't be allowed to handle anything more dangerous than a hair scrunchie.)

Anyway, these were the questions on the "Kerry Quiz":

1 .  What is John Kerry's middle name?
Forbes
Fitzgerald
Fitzsimons

2 .  Which term is Kerry now serving in the Senate?
Second
Third
Fourth

3 .  In what country was Kerry's wife Teresa Heinz Kerry born?
Madagascar
Mozambique
Morocco

4 .  How many awards of the Purple Heart did Kerry receive for his combat service in Vietnam?
One
Two
Three

5 .  Did Kerry vote to give Bush the authority to attack Iraq?
Yes
No

6 .  What's Kerry's religious affiliation?
Episcopalian
Catholic
Presbyterian

7 .  What does Kerry say was his greatest sports highlight at Yale?
Soccer hat trick against Harvard
Hockey hat trick against Harvard
Lacrosse hat trick against Harvard

After missing the last one, I remembered reading it in U.S. News & World Report. Kerry just seems more like a hockey player to me. Must be the teeth.

By the way -- the answer to no. 4 is pounded into your head here. (Warning: It's a rather large file; I wouldn't try it on a dial-up. Also, it may be the funniest thing you've seen online in awhile, so pee first.)

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