Belacqua Jones is in prison. Last night a New Jersey state trooper pulled him over on the northbound local lane of the Garden State Parkway. A tragic mixture of bourbon and Percoset had impaired his ability to stay in one lane at a time.
While the trooper was administering the sobriety test, two cars collided in the express lane. The trooper told Belacqua to stay put and jumped the guard rail to investigate.
Seeing his chance, Belacqua took off.
It was no problem apprehending him. Not only did the trooper have Belacqua’s license and registration, but Belacqua had parked the trooper’s car in front of his shack, the engine still running, the red lights still flashing.
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Seriously, folks, I started this blog with the intention of using a fictional persona, Belacqua Jones, to engage in some political satire through his fictitious letters to George W. But I ran into a brick wall. Satire’s effectiveness depends on exaggeration. The classic example of this is Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” in which Swift suggested that the problems of starvation and over population in Ireland could be solved by the butchering and eating of one-year-old Irish babies. His piece worked because there was no possibility the absurdity he suggested could become reality.
We have a situation in Fortress America in which the absurdities the satirist posts on Tuesday become Wednesday’s reality. This was brought home to me last week when I posted a letter in which Belacqua suggested that W. pathologize dissent, which would allow for the institutionalizing and medicating of all who dared to disagree with his policies. Shortly after I posted the letter Intervention Magazine ran an article that read, “Bush wants to test every American for mental illness—including you!” Upon reading that piece I knew I was dead in the water.
How in the hell can you satirize Abu Ghraib when Rush compares it to a fraternity hazing. Rush and his gang were miles ahead of me.
So, I have decided to drop the satire and concentrate on musings, rants and screeds. There may be the occasional letter from Belacqua, be it from jail or from hiding. But only if there is a chance that he can our Rush Rush.
7:57:30 AM 
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