New Newspeak Bumps Old Newspeak
Give the Bushits credit; they are masters of Orwellian language and imagery. The mumblings of our president-select have cut our language loose from the mooring of meaning and allowed it to drift into the uncharted waters of the unknown. Metaphor is dead; betaphor reigns (“bet you don’t know what I’m really talking about”).
Take democracy for example. Once its meaning was simple and concise—government of the people, by the people and for the people. This was not sophisticated enough for the Bushits. Now, in their wisdom, they have assigned multiple layers of meaning to the word.
There is domestic democracy in which we are all a free people, but the corporate “person” is freer because of the many benefits he reigns down upon the masses. Domestic democracy values freedom of speech and expression as long as it reflects our country’s traditional values as defined by the Republican Party platform. Domestic Democracy is characterized by universal suffrage except for the state of Florida where any African-American who has the same last name, middle initial, birthday or who reside in the same city as a convicted felon is denied the vote. This redefinition of suffrage could reflect Florida’s status as a quasi-third-world country (see below).
Third-world democracy is a variant of domestic democracy tailored to fit the needs of emergent democracies in third-world countries. Political power is open to all who are aligned with U.S. interests. A transitional dictatorship is acceptable as long as said dictator is supportive of our foreign policy goals. Iraq is the most current example of our endeavor to bring democracy to the world. There we have installed Ayad Allawi, also known as Saddam II, as prime minister. Allawi has been quick to introduce traditional democratic practices such as shooting unarmed prisoners and closing down foreign new services. (In all fairness, third-world democracy predates the Bushits.)
But where the Bushits really shine is in their mastery of Orwellian imagery. Their media minions are constantly ranting about latte-sucking liberals in their Gucci loafers, Ralph Lauren trousers and Lacoste polo’s plotting to shove their liberal agenda down the throats of decent, hard-working Americans. The truth is the latte-suckers are the middle managers and bean counters employed by the multi-nationals to close our plants, outsource our work, move our jobs overseas and gut our pension plans and 401(k)s.
To assume George W. is stupid is to be guilty of the last of the unacknowledged prejudices, articulism. Articulism assumes that there is a direct link between articulation and intelligence, that the more articulate one is, the more intelligent one is. The United States Congress soundly disproves this thesis.
The heart palpitates as we mumble our way into a brave new world.
That’s it for now from Fortress America.
8:41:32 AM
|