Dear George,
It’s time for some hard-assed compassionate conservatism. Genuine compassion looks at the big picture in an effort to put issues and events in their true perspective. No tears. No bleeding-hearts. No hand wringing. Just the overview and a dispassionate look at what’s best for our country. It’s a rational approach, a clear vision grounded in a value-free assessment of a given situation. Emotions corrupt compassion; clarity of vision liberates it.
There are those who would criticize your administration because 34 million people in this country are living in poverty. In their delusional thinking they believe the government should eradicate this poverty with a wave of its legislative hand. To them I say: You stupid shits! You vomit solutions in an orgasm of tear-wringing and bleeding-heart sentimentality. So clouded are you by your care and concern that you fail to recognize what poverty tells us about our society. So take out paper and pencil and write this down for future reference: Thirty-four million people in poverty means, simply, that there are 34 million people our economy is unable to absorb. And given even the most optimistic of forecasts, it is doubtful the economy will ever grow at a fast enough rate to absorb them. So what we have here is a write-off.
“But children go to bed hungry,” weep the do-gooders. Well, hear this: Those who whine most about hunger are the spoiled elite who have never missed so much as a mid-day snack in their entire life. Because their stomachs are perpetually full, they view with horror the prospect of missing a meal, a fear they project onto the starving. Their fear blinds them to starvation’s upside. Starvation is the most cost-effective method we have of bringing populations into alignment with resources. The human animal is wonderfully adaptable. It is quite capable of adapting itself to starvation.
But, let’s be clear about one thing, George. There is really no such thing as starvation. There is only sacrificial fasting. Yes, those who starve do a tremendous service to humanity. They give so that we may grow. They deserve our admiration and not our pity.
There is also a transcendental element to starvation that the bleeding-hearts overlook. Starvation is so spiritual. Here’s why: Spirituality rests upon a foundation of total hopelessness. The spirit can be embraced only when one realizes that there is no longer the slightest glimmer of a hope that circumstances will improve. And with this epiphany comes the act of letting go and surrendering that is the very foundation of spiritual growth. To starve is to die happy, for in starvation the physical snare of earthly existence melts away and the soul if freed to begin its ascent heavenward.
This, then, George is the answer to the 34 million in poverty. Why should our great country allow food stamps and welfare to stand between the poor and their spiritual union with heavenly glory? That would be a terrible disservice. So turn your back, fire up the iPod, walk away, and let the poor bask in the heavenly glow that is their entitlement.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
3:10:24 PM 
|
