Dear George,
There’s a down-home saying that even the best poker players leave money on the table. While your campaign, to date, has been a shining beacon of patriotic mendacity, there is a gem you’ve overlooked. This gem would add further depth to a campaign that already rides the buoyant wave of a deep and profound wisdom.
George, its time to break out the cancer metaphor.
Here you have a poetic expression of the Manichaeism that has been the hallmark of your administration. Paranoia rests on the unseen. Cancer represents the hidden rot that destroys even as the body glows with the outward appearance of health. Its prevention requires the eternal cat scan of domestic surveillance. Its chemotherapy is the quashing of unpatriotic dissent. All opposition to your enlightened policies must be branded as a malignant tumor that can only be excised by radical surgery. The metaphor sings, George!
And it’s time to name the “other” that is the carcinogenic that caused this tumor so we may target a pinprick beam of radiation on this life-sucking growth that threatens the body politic. It’s a simple construction, George: Islam is cancer; cancer is Islam. In short, it’s time for a real crusade. In Arabic crusade is translated as, “The way of the Cross.” The Muslims well understand that Jesus’ army is the chemotherapy that will suck the blood from the tumor that would spread its sickness across the face of the earth. (Thank God their skin is of an off-white tint. It makes the association so much easier.)
The identification of Islam as a cancer opens two options for you. First, anyone who criticizes your policies or tells the truth about the situation in Iraq is immediately branded as a Muslim fellow-traveler, or an Allahsymp to borrow a phrase from the Fifties. Aggressive Congressional hearings would force this scum out of their rat holes.
Second, just as the Japanese were interred during World War II for reasons of national security, so are you justified to inter Muslims during World War IV for reasons of national security. One of our traditional values is the internment of aliens during times of national stress.
Finally you must hammer home the bold-faced statement that the tumor of Islam has metastasized to all sectors of society. Form a blue-ribbon commission who will issue a report outlining the many ways Islam has corrupted American society. Blame them for feminism, homosexuality, AIDS, pornography, postmodernism, abstract art, relativism, deconstructionism, and the MLA. In defending our flag no lie is too bold-faced to tell.
Play your cards right, George, and your administration will surely ride to victory astride a malignant tumor.
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
11:49:51 AM 
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