Dear George,
Devine revelation struck last night. I still tremble when I think about it.
It was midnight. I was huddled against my boulder in my customary upright fetal position, eyes shut, waiting for the wine and the sedatives to take effect. Suddenly, there appeared before my shuttered eyes the blinding light of a blazing sterno can.
A voice spake to me to me from within the flames saying, “Belacqua!”
I cried out, “Who the fuck are you?”
And the voice said, “I’m not who I’m not.”
And the blazing sterno can did give unto me a spiral notebook upon which was inscribed the Word of the Lord. Hear ye, now, all ye nations God’s holy word.
The Ten Commandments v.2a
- In the movement of the Market is the Voice of the Lord. Follow and be obedient.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s oxen or stock options unless thee have in thy hand a duly executed court order.
- Thou shalt not kill except in matters involving National Security.
- Thou shalt not lie unless thou be facing indictment.
- Honor the Market for holiness is to be found in consumption.
- Honor the poor and the downtrodden by humbling them before the Market.
- Let thy venom flow forth, for in venom is found the mighty sword of the Market which cleavith the evildoers and skewerth the dissenters.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife unless the divorce be final.
- Covet not thine neighbor’s ass and keep thine own covered.
- Honor the bagman and the lobbyist, for in corruption is found the power of the Market.
Then darkness engulfed me and I fell into a deep slumber. Dawn broke as I awoke. Before me was the burnt-out remnants of a sterno can and a wine-stained spiral notebook.
Then I realized what God had given us. Think about it, George! Here are Ten Commandments that can be placed in every public building in the country. Repositioning God as the Market gives us a secular spirituality that does not violate church/state separation. The heathen and the infidel can scream all they want but this is one holy word that is strictly earth-bound.
Print ‘em and post ‘em as fast as you can!
Your admirer,
Belacqua Jones
5:18:15 PM 
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